Bakers Boy

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Ron and the Rude Boys

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The Baker's boy to the Chandlers went, 
Some candles for to buy,
But when he got upon the spot, no-one did he es-spy,
So just when he was about to leave, 
Thinking that all was dead,
He heard the sound of a rub-a-de-dub right above his head.

Oh, he heard the sound of a rub-a-de-dub 
Right above his head.

Now the Baker's boy was cunning and wise, 
And he crept up those stairs,
And he crept up so silently, he caught them unaware,
And there he saw the Butcher's boy 
Between his mistresses' thighs,
And they were having a rub-a-de-dub right before his eyes.

Oh, they were having a rub-a-de-dub right before his eyes.

Oh the Chandler's wife was much alarmed, 
And leaping from the bed,
She turned unto the Baker's boy, 
And this is what she said,
"If you would but my secret keep, then bear this fact in mind,
You can always come down for a rub-a-de-dub 
Whenever you feel inclined"

Oh, you can always come down for a rub-a-de-dub 
Whenever you feel inclined.

Now the Baker's boy was filled with joy, 
At the prospect of such fun,
He vowed he leap on to the bed 
When the Butcher's boy was done,
But when he reached those shorter strokes, 
How he kissed that Chandler's wife,
For he vowed he'd have a rub-a-de-dub everyday of his life.

Oh, he vowed he'd have a rub-a-de-dub everyday of his life.

Now in the morn when he awoke, all over he did ache,
His back was sore, his balls were raw, all over he did shake,
But when he looked at his John Tom, 
He saw he'd done the trick,
For the consequences of his rub-a-de-dub 
Was pimples on his prick.

Oh, the consequences of his rub-a-de-dub was pimples on his prick.

The Chandler returned and entered the shop, 
And quickly smelt a rat,
Seeing his wife all naked there, her hand upon her twat,
The Chandler's wife ran from the room, 
Expecting the boy had fled,
But he was having a rub-a-de-dub all by himself in bed.

Oh, he was having a rub-a-de-dub all by himself in bed.

Now the Baker's boy to the doctor's went 
Some ointment for to buy,
The doctor looked him up and down, 
And heaved a mighty sigh,
"My boy, my boy," the doctor said, 
"You've been a bloody fool,
For the consequence of your rub-a-de-dub
Is I've got to cut off your tool !"

Oh, the consequence of your rub-a-de-dub is I've got to cut off your tool !

The moral of this story is, I'm sure that you should know,
Enthusiastic amateurs are worse than any pro,
And if you would a wooing go, and self control you lack,
Whenever you have a rub-a-de-dub, be sure to wear a mack.

Oh, whenever you have a rub-a-de-dub, 
Be sure to wear a mack.

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