Letters

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I keep writing letters to myself
And I put 'em in the mail
I forget to write the address 
So it comes back to myself
And now I hate myself 
For writing all that stuff 
I didn't mean it at all
I'm just sick of the dark

You don't mean anything 
No one loves you at all
They all lie to your face
And they don't give a f*ck
About you or the shit that
You do so give up
Say good bye to your mom
And your dad and your son
And tonight when you leave 
Put a note on the mantle
Let em know that you tried 
But you just couldn't handle
Know ing every day was the same
Fucking battle
I should stick thru the pain 
So you could be happy

I tell myself lies
And I hope that they stick
Like I love myself
And then i call myself shit
On and on it continues
I smoke and I slip
From the grasp of reality 
I'm losing it

Sometimes I want to just 
Let off and rage
Get me out of my head 
I am trapped in a cage 
I just want to give up
But I know if i say it
I won't let it go until 
I'm on my way out

You don't know what I've been thru 
To get to this place
Looking death in the face 
As a means of escape
Is as dark as it gets
When I'm inside my head
Cuz I know I don't matter
Like a blank piece of paper

Line after line
I will give all the reasons
I hate my life 
But you won't believe it
You'll blame someone else
And forget that I even existed
Forget me again and
Re-read it

I keep writing letters to myself
And I put 'em in the mail
I forget to write the address 
So it comes back to myself
And now I hate myself 
For writing all that stuff 
I didn't mean it at all
I'm just so sick of the dark

I’ve had enough of the demons that pester me constantly, 
Their clawing and hollering haunting me, 
It’s common knowledge our former camaraderie, 
Man I’ve balled up my fists and I’ve cracked em on
 Brick walls just to calm the persistent and treacherous waves of emotion, 
So much is unspoken 
I’ve chosen to drown out the noise with my pencil the pills and the potions, 
A lot has been said so much is unspoken, 
I tried to surrender and give my devotion 
Too much has been said now the knot is unfolding, 
You put up a front and I fell in not knowing. 
The lines were misread, the cloaked and controlling 
Gon pull on your strings till your puppet is broken,
I tried and regret ever coming close,  
At the end of the day though I miss your ghost 
That bridge was so rickety, 
I should’ve sensed all of your trickery, 
Your lies and your fucking bewitchery 
Gave way to limitless voids of my misery 
It’s such a struggle to quell the artillery
 I’m trying to save my dignity and keep stability 
But f*ck the sympathy I wish you misery

I keep writing letters to myself
And I put 'em in the mail
I forget to write the address 
So it comes back to myself
And now I hate myself 
For writing all that stuff 
I didn't mean it at all
I'm just so sick of the dark

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