transgender mortality

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Charlo

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I taped my chest for the very first time today
I think there must be something wrong with my brain
Cause I didn't feel a thing when the biggest pain in my ass had been taken away
I stared at my body just a second too long

My face isn't mine, it never has been
My limbs are tired from running on adrenaline
I wake up at 3am just to sit with a bowl and
Wait for something that's not coming at all
Wake me up when you get here
My mouth has gone numb
And this glass that I've swallowed is cutting me up
From the inside, from the inside out

You think I survived when I tried to take my life
I think I've been dead since long before then
You look me in the eyes and try to tell me I'm alive
That I have something worth living for
I don't know what to say so I just shrug

My face isn't mine, it never has been
My limbs are tired from running on adrenaline
I wake up at 3am just to sit with a bowl and
Wait for something that's not coming at all
Wake me up when you get here
My mouth has gone numb
And this glass that I've swallowed is cutting me up
From the inside, from the inside out

You don't see yourself the way that I see you
You make me so happy, I can't even believe you
Exist in a place where I get to be
And have the love to interact with me
I'll stay up 'til you get here if that's what it takes
Cause I'm running away from this place that I hate
And I don't want to miss the first time we hug
And I've finally come back home

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