Hydroxyzine (feat. mYnus_greY)

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Agora

The agora (; Ancient Greek: ἀγορά agorá) was a central public space in ancient Greek city-states. It is the best representation of a city-state's response to accommodate the social and political order of the polis. The literal meaning of the word "agora" is "gathering place" or "assembly". The agora was the center of the athletic, artistic, business, social, spiritual and political life in the city. The Ancient Agora of Athens is the best-known example. more »

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Sometimes all I ever need is just my medication
Because I'm not in the right headspace
Or my thoughts begin to start racing
Until I'm craving death

This my brain uh
Left and right I'm veering every day
I can't stay straight but
Homophobic comments everyday disrupt
The pace of my fight or flight
I'm always trying to right mistakes from my adolescence
Always stressing over some days ago
Sum insignificant but to me it's like I played you wrong
When in the present all I did was sully a tablecloth
Still in my head I play it over and over days along
Sum insignificant but to me it's like I
Played you wrong heart skipping beats
It sing a song a constant stream to frontal lobe
Where being happy's a choice no more
I wanna be free from it's hold
Where I finally get breathe from the sea of the loneliness
It holds me in where I can only think again
Of everything I ever did while living this life
Say it's fine, bitch you lie, why you messing with my mind
When you should've knew where I'm at
Took time out your bubble to trouble yourself with Matt
'Cause you know he gon' say it's fine
But deep down it's a fucking lie
He's been eyeing a knife within his proximity
Fighting the urge to take his own life in a swift attempt
But instead he gon' huddle out in his head
Denying everything
Lying to everyone 'cause nobody even exist to him
This reality isn't real
A hallucination or maybe a dream
Maybe a vision need to come to his senses
'Cause there's no way in his head that he has a lover
Who telling him everyday that he's special
One in a zillion
When all his life he's been wired to be no different
There's no believing it
Must be deceiving him
So it's a panic attack that raises the BPM

Got a lot of hate, a lot of weight, a lot of unsaid thoughts clenched inside of my fist
I throw the punch in my brain, feel it fade
It kinda feel like this
The sky is falling; don't tell me to relax
Don't touch my skin it get me stuck like freeze tag
Try to keep the breath flowing through my neck like the CPAP
Just be cool like I'm three stacks
(Bitch, I'm trying to be fucking cool)

The world treat me like an Outkast
You can meet me? Tell me how fast
You can relate? Bitch I doubt that

See, I was in my hometown
Threw a little party, I had thirty people over, drinking playing games
And my brain begin to zone out
I was barely even talking, way too fucking sober, homies call my name
When the world begin to slow down
Please do not address me, I'll turn into ghost, I don't really exist,
Anonymous as a pronoun
Everything screaming, like I'm gonna choke, air leave my lips
But when I listened there was no sound

Pop a pill pop a pill
'Cause I hardly wanna live
Pop a pill get a bottle
So I swallow all my sins
You cannot tell me to quit
You cannot tell me to watch my health nah nah
You cannot tell me shit
You never dealt with shit so nah nah nah
Pop a pill pop a pill
'Cause I hardly wanna live
Pop a pill get a bottle
So I swallow all my sins
You cannot tell me to quit
You cannot tell me to watch my health nah nah
You cannot tell me shit
You never dealt with shit so nah nah nah

You don't know my mental state
So don't you tell me wait it out
You ain't ever been afraid to leave your place
Step out the house
You ain't ever been detained for countless days
For blanking out
No you can't relate to anything inside my brain
So how you gonna tell me it ain't real shit
When you never panicked for no reason
Fearing everybody you can see
'Cause the people who had beaten you
Had stuck in your memory that everything is dangerous
Never trust a thing my thoughts are aimless
And to think
I'm supposed to be a stable person who can think straight
But I cannot for the life of me try or just stop whining
'Bout all of the abuse I been through in my life
I been internally fighting all turmoil since I was a child
No matter how much time I spend
All of it in my mind
And I'm stuck with it just until I get the courage to die
Mental's up again
Serotonin boosted into the sky
No more trust issues
I can finally safely live out my life
That's impossible
I need my Hydroxyzine so my mind can shut the f*ck up

Pop a pill pop a pill
'Cause I hardly wanna live
Pop a pill get a bottle
So I swallow all my sins
You cannot tell me to quit
You cannot tell me to watch my health nah nah
You cannot tell me shit
You never dealt with shit so nah nah nah
Pop a pill pop a pill
'Cause I hardly wanna live
Pop a pill get a bottle
So I swallow all my sins
You cannot tell me to quit
You cannot tell me to watch my health nah nah
You cannot tell me shit
You never dealt with shit so nah nah nah
Pop a pill pop a pill
'Cause I hardly wanna live
Pop a pill get a bottle
So I swallow all my sins
You cannot tell me to quit
You cannot tell me to watch my health nah nah
You cannot tell me shit
You never dealt with shit so nah nah nah
Pop a pill pop a pill
'Cause I hardly wanna live
Pop a pill get a bottle
So I swallow all my sins
You cannot tell me to quit
You cannot tell me to watch my health nah nah
You cannot tell me shit
You never dealt with shit

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