Twenty One (feat. Adrianna Viera)

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Yung Mallet

Alternative hip hop artist from Staten Island, New York City more »

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You are twenty-one
I want you to grow and grow
And grow and grow and grow
You are someone
I want you to grow and show the world that you're the one
You're the one
I just spent the last half of the year
Tryna teach myself an optimistic disposition
My adolescent mental state of enervation is shifting to insight and wisdom
To be real, I didn't feel like I would make it here
I came up as a nervous wreck, stressed and full of fear
Fear that I wasn't enough, a feeling that consumed me
Only to amplify each time someone would hurt or use me
Fear turned to self hate, brewing through insecurities
Churning inside an earnest mind that spiraled to obscurity
My music nourished me, lyrics could be my currency
But what's the use when I felt no one encourage me
Been feeling symptoms of bipolar since the age of seven
Destructive thoughts in every manic episode
My self esteem constantly vanishing
So gotta I give myself props for being here rapping this
You are twenty-one
I want you to grow and grow
And grow and grow and grow
You are someone
I want you to grow and show the world that you're the one
You're the one
Spiral to obscurity
I lose my grip, spiral to obscurity
I start to slip, spiral to obscurity
My life's a trip, I spiral to obscurity
Where any vibrance, any color, any hue
Monochrome and melted to greyish tint of blue
A cold, senseless, endless blue
Manic or depressed, addled and askew
The type of place I start to think is permanent
Permeated to a point of purgatory in my head
I start to think because i'm struggling with mental illnesses
That I'm incapable of change, and I spiral to obscurity
Ironically, my substance issues started years before
Was getting bullied at school, and ditched a toxic friendship
Just to be welcomed with loneliness, body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria
To cope, I started up pouring up
It was never enough
And smoking wasn't enough
Insecure about my mental health, self medicated way too much
Got a psychiatrist, four prescriptions, it didn't do much
I checked into a psyche ward cause I was boutta try ODing on pills
4 months later I attempted it, it didn't kill
Just left me more confused than I had ever been
My last attempt was on September tenth
Maybe I'm blind to try to be optimistic
But after failing suicide, my only choice is keep living
I'm often maudlin when I'm talking bout my past
I don't enjoy self pity, I just need to state the facts
I turned twenty-one, and I'm proud to see it
And i'm amazed by all the things I've been achieving
I mean that's how I learned to say "I love myself" and truly mean it
I am twenty-one
So I'm boutta grow and show the world that I'm the one
Cause I am someone
So I'm boutta grow and show the world that I'm the one

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