Beyond The End/Odyssey

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Florian Santos

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No thoughts except that it's cruel
It's beautiful and it's true
Bleeding feels good
I'm alive, I am cool

Forget all the smiles you've tried
No sun in the sky, no light behind your eyes

But there's green
There's a god in me
Behind the glass that I can break
And I can hurt the face but not the

Memories, experience
Motherfuckers, gentlemen
2010's
I loved you all beyond the end
I just love it all beyond the end

Lightning, red
It's not dead
It's sleeping in a tower
Waiting for true love's kiss
It is sleeping in a flower
Stronger by the hour
It's called medicine

I just love it all beyond the end
Lightning, red
I'm not dead
Don't let me forget

That I love it all beyond the end
Don't let me forget
I can hurt the face, but not the
I can hurt the face, but not the
Resemblance, resilience
Me

You just woke up on yesterday's clothes
You don't brush your teeth
You have lunch standing in the kitchen and it kinda tastes like shit
You don't care enough to cook something better
You just have to keep yourself standing for the rest of the day
You don't care enough to tell yourself you're gonna quit
Instead you just tell yourself that you like it

So punk rock, you're never gonna stop
You're gonna study music and become a rock slash popstar
If not, you'll die
Then you'll move back and she'll buy the house across the street
(That house is taken now)
You'll build a studio and grow a maze/garden
You'll never be whole but you'll be happy
(I had a garden I couldn't get lost in but I had to leave anyway)
You'll adopt some kids and have a flat in London together
Sometimes you're married, sometimes you're not

But if you can't hold on 'till then
Or she thinks she's pregnant again
You'll tell your moms to f*ck off
You'll flee the country in the back of truck
Full of drugs, obviously
You'll grow weed in endless fields
High all the time, still better parents than ours
Sounds peaceful but it wouldn't be enough
I'd still try to please the crowds anyway, I couldn't keep your love
I'd never tie you down the way you tried to do with me
I'm still looking too close to see anything
But we couldn't be farther apart, could we?
Honestly these days I think I would risk everything
But you were never coming with me
I'm sorry, I took your shoes

You're taking the bus downtown now
That's the moment you most fantasize about the crowds
The good songs are yours, but you'd change some lines
These people see you everyday and often stare out of the corner of their eyes
Sometimes you get anxious and think that they hate you, you're probably right
'Cause f*ck this city
Then you remember you're still the hippest thing and you'll never gonna quit

You're late but you might skip class
Sit on the steps and try to forget everything you know
Because you're young but too smart for your own good
You know it's all wrong
You learn some new things and they break you
But you know they're also wrong
You do your make up
Share a joint with some strangers you study with
That you're studying lately, that you're sleeping on

No one's skipping class today
You'll just study high, I guess
You hope the teacher won't notice you just had a cigarette by the school gates
But you all smell like grass, you act like you're mostly dead
And your eyes shine red like the traffic light outside
She knows it's a bad sign, but the State made her too tired to care
You answer all the questions and they're at least mostly right
But you're still bad at math so you'll never make it in real life
You write and you write and her and the lines
Are the only things keeping you alive
She's not a goddess, untouchable and flawless but she's your friend
Or so you thought
And you two never notice just how precious that is
Until it's too late and when you talk your voices are no longer soft

I think you fantasize about some people but I don't remember much
All you wrote were reflections in the water
Where they'd admire themselves and each other
But none of that is true, the ones that held power over you were always so pathetic
And you see that now like you'll see it in a couple years when you look back
I talk like you're someone else to force myself to be empathetic
And after class

You're a little green fairy, you're dropping the cap
You fall through the rim and find yourself trapped
You reach the bottom of a bottle and the deep end again
The little truth you still hold shines through the glass
Suddenly you're a darling starlet and you love your friends
Except they're capping the bottle behind your back
The ones you worship get a glimpse of the god you could be
If you weren't tied down and dying in this city
You hold your liquor cause you're good at having a problem
No one I know has the guts to say alcoholic
You often fall and get hurt and you rarely throw up
But you always crawl back to the bus stop alone

You'd stumble out of the bus, walk home slow and have too much for dinner
You'd sit next to your mom and try to act sober but you're miles away
You did that, and every time you two meet you don't regret it
"At least I'm mostly free", you say
Right now, her arms are chains around me
But this isn't about me

So you go to your room and try to surround yourself with other voices
So you drown out the sound of the waves in your head
Some things you can talk about now but most you still can't
The more you hear people you respect, the more you let out
The more your own voice makes sense

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