fatal mind

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Katya Awar

3:05

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I just wanna sleep
Why'm I always tired?
Call myself a liar
I'm just numb

It's getting hard to breathe
But my life is so perfect
Really don't deserve this
Selfish thought

All I see are ghosts of long lost
Lovers that have gone

Trying to move on
No one sees me grieving
Tell myself it's healing
But I'm stuck

I can keep pretending
But we both know

Waking up at 7pm
Baggy clothes and bad excuses
That's not who I am
But no one gives a damn

Parents laugh and call it hormones
Friends think I just got my heart broke
No one seems to find
That I'm held hostage by my fatal mind

They're always telling me
The 20s are the best years
Shouldn't waste them in tears
So I try

Cant force myself to be
The perfect little angel
Lost my wings and halo
To his lies

Trust me I am well aware
Not everyone's a user

Have a little faith
I'll find it when I'm 30
Show a boy some mercy
Bat my eyes

I can keep pretending
But we both know

Waking up at 7pm
Baggy clothes and bad excuses
That's not who I am
But no one gives a damn

Parents laugh and call it hormones
Friends think I just got my heart broke
No one seems to find
That I'm held hostage by my fatal mind

My fatal fatal mind
So unkind
Sees I'm always left behind
Undefined
Redesigned
Not the one I was assigned
Feel confined
Straight decline
Since the loyal ones resigned
Undermined
Love deprived

Late night drives and blurry street lights
Getting high off every lie
That's not who I am
But no one gives a damn

Did my people ever know me?
Wish I was the girl they all see
No one seems to find
That I'm held hostage by my fatal mind

Oh
My fatal fatal mind
My fatal fatal mind

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