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Larry the Cable Guy

Daniel Lawrence Whitney (born February 17, 1963), known professionally by his stage name Larry the Cable Guy, is an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer, country music artist and former radio personality.He was one of the members of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, a comedy troupe which included Bill Engvall, Ron White, and Jeff Foxworthy (with whom he has starred on Blue Collar TV). Larry the Cable Guy has released seven comedy albums, of which three have been certified gold by the RIAA for shipments of 500,000 copies and in addition has starred in three Blue Collar Comedy Tour–related films, as well as in Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Delta Farce, and Witless Protection, as well as voicing Mater in the Cars franchise. Whitney's catchphrase "Git… more »

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I like NASCAR i always thought Stayfree
Mini pads ought to sponsor NASCAR
Just to hear the announcers that'd
Be pretty good right there

'Welcome to the Summer's Eve 200
The KY Jelly car has
Just accelerated and easily slipped into
The #2 hole the
Vagisil car has been itching and
Burning rubber all season
Out there and is #1 in the Busch standings'
(laughs)

That's right they got hard
Liquor sponsorship now, too
Which'd- That'd be another good
Race to hear!

'We just started the race and the #7 Jack
Daniel's car has already slammed
Through the wall!
Followеd closely by the Coca-Cola
Chaser car! All 15
Mеmbers of the Jose Cuervo car are
Still waiting on a jump-start
Could somebody please unhook
The lawn maintenance trailer from
The Jose Cuervo
Car? The leaves are blowing out when they
Go around turn 2' Git-R-Done that's funny
I don't care who you are right there

But I like NASCAR i was in Talladega
Last year did you know the
Viagra car is the only car that's
Got windshield wipers on the inside?
(laughs) That's funny! (laughs)
That's true!

But them people that mock NASCAR
That don't under- Look, if
You don't understand a sport, don't
Talk about it bad
Alright? I gotta tell you something
You know what I mean?
I was leaving- I'm gonna tell you a story
I was leaving the hospital the
Other day i ain't
Gonna ment- We had a big shakeup in
The family, but that ain't concern
To you but, uh, we was leaving the hospital
I was visiting my grandpa he's getting
Uh, ovarian cancer and, uh yeah, we
Didn't even know it uh he did
Have a lot of high heels, i do
Remember that, but I didn't think nothing
Of it when he breastfed me
That was kind of weird i
Didn't understand that i
Knew there was something going on with him
But I'm leaving the hospital and there's a
Little kid there coloring or something
But I had
My NASCAR shirt on and he goes, 'You a
NASCAR fan?' I'm like
'Git-R-Done!' He's like
'NASCAR ain't nothing but a bunch
Of mullet headed rednecks
Drinking Busch beer watching cars go around
In circles all day' That's
What he said! Pissed me off i went up to
That little punk and I said
'Let me tell you something
You little turd nASCAR's a
Lot more than that
Alright? We also got Budweiser!'
(laughs) Git-R-Done! I walked by him
I kind of smacked him upside the head a
Little bit he pissed me off it's
A wonder I didn't rip him
Out of his wheelchair ain't
Nothing I hate worse than
A cocky crippled kid
I'll tell you that right now
You respect your elders

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