Help Wanted

MC Chris

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MC Chris

Christopher Brendan Ward, better known by his stage name, MC Chris (stylized as mc chris) is an American rapper, voice actor, writer, and improvisational comedian. more »


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Help wanted do you want to pay the bills?
Help wanted have unnecessary skills?
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real
Fill out an application, just be patient
You know the drill help wanted
Do you want to pay the bills? Help wanted
Have unnecessary skills?
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real
Fill out an application, just be patient
You know the drill as a veteran
I was settling into a life of self-pity
Living with my mother in my favorite city
She started getting on my case
About wasting my life
I missed the action of the Air
Force and the feeling of flight
"Get a job", she demanded
So I picked up the papers
Saw an ad that wasn't bad at
Least I wasn't a waiter
I was trained in computers
I was fit and athletic
I was tired of being a
Loser and feeling pathetic
So I went and interviewed I
Was a dude without options
The more questions she asked
The more my mind flashed caution
Do you believe in UFOs? yeah
I've had my fair share clairvoyance, ESP
Do you believe in what isn't there?
Atlantis and the Lochness
I was honestly scared
But I was desperate and upset
With just chilling in chairs
So I said, "The pay is steady
Then I'm willing and able"
She said, "You're hired" I was wired
I was suddenly stable

Help wanted do you want to pay the bills?
Help wanted have unnecessary skills?
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real
Fill out an application, just be patient
You know the drill help wanted
Do you want to pay the bills? Help wanted
Have unnecessary skills?
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real
Fill out an application, just be patient
You know the drill
I met the dudes in my crew
They were slimy and stinky
Took my down in the basement
Showed me a really big twinkie
I started thinking the back of
The bible was entirely right
I started seeing crazy shit that
Will turn you white
The dead rising from the grave
This is totally the end of days
At least I was getting paid
In spite of my mental state
Better than telling fortunes in Coney
Island with a cape
Better than birthday parties where I
Wasn't offered any cake
No occupation's perfect
I'm determined and devoted
Found a God in a painting
And a spectral locomotive
Sometimes the slime I find is the
Slime I can not handle
But I'm about to, said love
Jesus's style, his smile, his sandals
God is watching over me
Protecting me from dangers
Sometimes it's up to me to bust
A beast with binding lasers
I have tools, I have talent
It's a challenge when you're chosen
But I was born to bust a ghost
And all those chodes who oppose us

Help wanted do you want to pay the bills?
Help wanted have unnecessary skills?
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real
Fill out an application, just be patient
You know the drill help wanted
Do you want to pay the bills? Help wanted
Have unnecessary skills?
If a house is barely haunted
Do you think it's really real
Fill out an application, just be patient
You know the drill

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    "Help Wanted Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/10748115/MC+Chris/Help+Wanted>.

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