Joe's Interrogation

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Alright let's see who we got here
Is that uh Uncle Joe Pilla
Is that right
Yep that's it
Alright, do you know what you're in for
Yeah
Alright, well me and my partner here (hey)
Detective Kringle (hey)
Alright uh
Yeah hey
You can speak up
We got some pretty damning evidence on you, alright so
Yeah you do
Listen, if you admit right now to what you've done
You sign this paperwork right here
We can let you go for Christmas (sign the paperwork)
Well about you tell me what I've done
Go ahead, Mr. Kringle

Well, we found uh
We found a Santa
A mall Santa
With eight stab wounds in his back
Uh-huh
In the bathroom of the Wilfredo Mall
And we know you did it
You were the last one to leave that bathroom here

Well I didn't do it, that I know
Maybe someone crawled through the vents
I mean, there was
There is no possible way anyone fit through those vents
What, there were no
There were no vent tracks
No
Maybe
Maybe a certain small fellow could have done it
You ever consider that, officer
What are you trying to say
You trying to say your nephew did it
No, I'm not trying to say my nephew did it
I
Why would I be incriminating my own nephew
I mean
I'm just saying
Some small individual could've getten' through them vents
Your nephew
I saw 'em
They were sizeable enough

Let me, let me keep it simple for you, alright
Two people walked into that restroom
That mall Santa while he was on break
Yeah, yeah and one little tiny man crawled through the vents
And you, and one man, one man left the restroom
Yeah, and one little tiny man crawled through the vents
And that was you
And slayed that mall Santa
Or your nephew
After I left
Don't forget about the nephew
What about my nephew
He's a tiny man is he not
He's only eight
An eight-year-old did not stab and kill a mall Santa
I mean it was an inside job could it have been
This guy's an idiot
Listen
I mean my name's Kringle I mean what'd you expect

Do you
Do you or do you not want to see your family for Christmas
I do wanna see my family for Christmas
Just sign this
Just sign this and we'll let you go
But I
Yeah but then I'll never see them again
What are you talking about?
(Laughs)
What I sign and say I killed him
And then you're gonna let me go afterward
We know you killed him (You killed that mo-)
We have all the proof in the world (You killed that sumbitch)
Okay that has nothing to do with this paper

Hey guys um
Sorry I'm late uh so
Oh thank God
Here's uh some paperwork you guys might wanna read
Give me that
Kringle, you wanna look at this
Shit, um
What is it? (lawyer up, lawyer up)
It is a picture of a little man crawling through the vents like I said
I hate lawyers
Frost, Frost you're gonna want to look at this (let me see)
I mean I'm pretty stupid but even I can read these words
Come on it's not that hard it's a couple easy words
I mean you
There's soliloquy on that word
I don't even know that is
That, no one wrote that on there you're making stuff up
Is there like a haiku on that
This is real I'm a lawyer if you need
Look I know we probably think that this is our guy
But if that was to get out
You know you guys are whispering pretty loud
Damn, it's signed by the President
The fu
The fucking President
Right there
What are you guys saying
The President signed something? (Alright Mr. Pilla)
Shut up
This doesn't involve you
Mr. Pilla, you need to keep your mouth shut
I think it quite literally involves nothing but me
Mr. Pilla
Mr. Pilla
Mr.
Mr. Pilla
Mr. Pilla
Keep your mouth shut
I'm your lawyer
Frost, I think we just got to let this guy go
See, see
Alright
You're welcome
So what about
Alright, Pilla, you get away with it this time
Murderer
But we know what you did
You shouldn't call him that, it's not very nice
We know you killed that Christmas mall Santa
Am I allowed to say I killed him now

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