Dear Marie

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Dyllie

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And I'll never forget
The day god took her and he layyed her to rest
Crying with my mother and my sister in the bed thinking why Lord
He always takes the best man
I felt an emptiness inside, I felt more than a cry
This was a scream for help, good God why'd my grandma go and die

Man you promised when I prayed last week
Tears shedding down from both my cheeks
You told me that she'd be alright, God you lied, man she ain't have enough fight
Man you promised when my dad flew out
I trusted you god, I ain't have no doubt
Little did I know my dad would say goodbye to the only parent left in his short lived life

I didn't know if he could handle it
Dressed in black, the sky, it was candle lit
I saw my grandma for the last time but she ain't look real
Only hurt me more, crushed the way I feel
Grabbing on my sister for protection
From what? Man I didn't know
I just needed a deflection
My mom broke down, she was lookin in a different direction
And I was a reflection, breaking down at every sign of connection, and tensions rising
Not the angry kind, more like the lost an angel kind

Still doesn't feel real that I can't get her back
Now she's laying with my dad's dad who had a heart attack
Reunited at last, sounded great but I came down fast
For days I was worried sick, building a life again brick by brick
I didn't know if my grandpa could take it
He was so lost without her, but he'd fake it

These are the days that I'd curse my Lord
Lost trust in him, when he pulled her cord
Man I was conflicted
I felt like his powers, they must be restricted
If you can't save Marie are you really God?
What are you then, because lord is really broad
Lord of all creation, except Marie?
Lord of the people, but not my family tree?

I was mad at Jesus, like he made it worse
Truth was that he had her first
He knew Marie and he knew who she would be
A caring wife and mother and a grandma to me

What a blessing it was to have her in my life
Reminiscing about the drives and the late nights
Arriving at their house with bags in my hand
And yet sloppy cheek kisses were very on brand
When you lose someone, you remember things
Memories that only god could bring
And when she left us I swear I heard the angels sing
All of heaven rejoiced and the bells would ring

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