Dark Days

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Caleb Brent

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Born in the heartland into a middle class
I would sit on my childhood couch and stare out of the cracked glass
It was a mosaic from a baseball that misaligned
But who's to blame if I was bored, stuck between two coastlines
The same way I lived my life, between two extremes
A saint to mom but to the grocery store I was a dirty thief
It's in the past but I still ponder every day
Cause I still have that stolen baseball back from the fourth grade

I would pull up weeds to give to mamma, call them flowers
I would write my name with a backwards L I practiced for hours
I funneled pride to a soul until that soul turned sour
But there's light in the worst of my dark days

I met her at church just past the summertime
The tug o war cheerleader that cried for me to pull the line
I still tug on ropes to show her my sturdy soul
But I'm the idiot with a rope tied to a concrete pole
It's been ten years from when she first talked to me
It took ten years for me to find out what a man outta be
It's no coincidence that it happened at the same time
I looked back and started seeing me through her eyes

I would pull up weeds to give to her and call them flowers
I would change her name to honey when I'd been a fool for hours
When she spoke the truth I would play a martyr, run, or cower
But there's light in the worst of my dark days

I gave and took. I've won and lost
But none of it would matter if I left my past to the dogs
I take it with me, even if it's just for her
Because looking back is the only way that I have moved forward.

Now I go to the grocery store just to buy her flowers
The memory of all the bad I'll still think on for hours
I won't lean towards self-aversion but think of how her
Love has taught me to look to my dark days
The light in the worst of my dark days
My guiding light was in the worst of my dark days

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