Hard2LetGo

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J. Olayo

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I guess we wasn't meant to be and it was just a phase
When you told me that you loved me, I was kinda fazed
It wasn't written in your eyes, I could read it in your face
I was hoping that you meant it, though I had to face
The fact that you were running game
How could I fall so hard, so quick, I should've paced myself
let my feelings get involved, for that I blame myself
I should've peeped it from the scrimmage, God, I played myself
All the red flags I ignored, God, I'm ashamed myself
I won't forget the night we did it, I felt so complete
You held me close and sat in silence, staring right at me
You said I drove you crazy, and you ain't wanna leave
You even asked if I'd go with you, then you fell asleep
Shit felt so real to me
Same time surreal to me
I mean the way you opened up, shit closed the deal for me
You had the feels for me
Fell, head over heels for me
So what went wrong, why break the bond that you had built with me?
Why build a friendship in the first place, knowin' you ain't mean it?
We spoke about our past, exposed all of our secrets
Told each other 'bout our futures and how we foresee it
Our relation started changing, other folks could see it
Our interactions weren't the same, the tone of words were caring
Like, "Buenos dias mi amor" our jokes become more daring
We even started holding hands, our bond was so unbaring
You'd put my arms around your head, no matter who was staring
The feeling was unmatched
We both became attached
Became a magnet for the feelings that we both attract
The lust was born in fact
We acted out on that
But you kept acting like it's serious just keep me trapped
Telling folks that I'm your boyfriend like we was a match
But doing sneaky shit behind my back, you're so inapt
Last convo that we had, you tried manipulatin'
Said that it's hard for you to love someone cause you've build hatred
You claimed that folks have done you wrong and that you can't explain it
Gaslighted, victimized, and even perpetrated
Cause you kept mentioning your fear of losing my affection
That I'd see sides of you I'd loathe and make me want to question
Who you are but you kept swearing that you are progressing
I heard guilt inside your tone, procured you learned your lesson
Something told me that you really didn't
I admit it, when I heard that shit I felt suspicious
An ill feeling, like you're forcing something so illicit
To be explicit, should have cut you off and kept my distance
But I didn't and you committed
In that convo, you said something that I had to repeat
To myself cause I was shocked, I wasn't ready to think
You said "Be honest to yourself, and only say what you mean"
You asked, "What made you want to look into a woman like me?"
That should've been my sign
But still I acted blind
You started spilling out your heart about my future
I should've listened when you told me that it's looking bright
With my mom and sisters in it, I should have resigned
You and I were out the question till I mentioned it
Knew it was forced from the point forward, so I questioned it
Next day I asked you what you wanted but you flipped the script
Guess you were scared to tell me no, though I requested it
But your actions showed it all, so then I lessened it
Wish I could take it back, I really miss my friend
But it's too late, what's done is done and we can't make amends
I know I act like I don't care but I cannot pretend
Like I don't miss our conversations, laughs that never end
This shit don't make no sense

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