My Balls

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Your Favorite Martian

Ray William Johnson (born 1981) is an American internet celebrity best known for his eponymous YouTube channel and his web series on that channel, Equals Three. In 2013, the channel surpassed 10 million subscribers and had over 2 billion views, making it one of the most watched and subscribed to channels at the time. Johnson left the series in March 2014 but continued to produce it and other web series like Booze Lightyear, Comedians On, and Top 6, the first two of which were later cancelled.Toward the end of his tenure at Equals Three, Johnson began branching out into other mediums. His first scripted web series, Riley Rewind, premiered on Facebook in 2013. He created a television concept that was purchased by FX the same year. He made his live-action acting… more »

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Girl, I know you left me
But there was something I forgot to show you

Check it out, baby girl, you left me, oh no! We broke up
It's been a while since we last spoke, but
I need another chance, can you give me that?
'Cause there's something in my pants that'll win you back

I wanna be your man again
But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston
And I know you said you'd never call
But girl, you ain't seen my balls

You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You ain't seen my balls, you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You ain't seen my balls, you ain't seen my balls

My balls are so awesome, don't get me started
They're so damn big, "how big are they?"
They're so big, it's really obnoxious
It's like two ewoks chillin' in my boxers
They're so big, I can't hold 'em back
Even Cartman's like "damn, those are fat"
They're so big, they're run over your feet
That's why when they back up you hear a beep beep

And how can I be subtle
When my balls chase Indiana Jones through a tunnel?
And everyone at Disney World keeps telling me
That Epcot Center looks at 'em with jealousy
In fact, when you see 'em on the street they'll
Fight Godzilla to the death in the sequel

I'm guessing soon you'll be hoping I'm back
'Cause my balls are so big they've got an opening act

You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You ain't seen my balls, you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You ain't seen my balls, you ain't seen my balls

My balls are so epic, and I ain't boastin'
'Cause they have an effect on the tides in the ocean
And when the sun's right, it might cause
A total solar eclipse of my balls
'Cause these things are where it's happenin'
And when I whip 'em out you'll take me back again
Should I compare 'em to a brontosaurus?
No, excuse me I'm on the chorus

I. I got what you need
And you'd said you'd never call
But girl you ain't seen these balls

I wanna be your man again
But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston
And I know you said you'd never call
But girl, you ain't seen my 
You ain't seen my 
You ain't seen my 
You ain't seen my 
You, you, you ain't seen my 
You ain't seen my 
You ain't seen my 
You, you, you ain't seen my 
Girl, you ain't seen my 

You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You ain't seen my balls, you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You ain't seen my balls, you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You ain't seen my balls, you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls
You ain't seen my balls, you ain't seen my balls

I told you you'd be back
You must've forgot
You must've had Ballzheimer's

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