I WILL NOT MAKE AN EMPTY PROMISE

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Fawcette

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You know, every politician has an idealistic view of who they'll be and what they'll do in Office
But, there is only one thing I can promise you

During my campaign, I will not make an empty promise
I will do everything that I say and I'm just being honest
When I get elected, you know that I'm really gone be on it
And I'm gonna do it super fast like my nickname was Sonic, so
During my campaign, I will not make an empty promise
I will do everything that I say and I'm just being honest
When I get elected, you know that I'm really gone be on it
And I'm gonna do it super fast like my nickname was Sonic, so

When I become president, you will not need to rob
Because I will give everyone in America a job
With better benefits, better work, and some better pay
Under my administration we will see some better days
West Virginia, I'm gonna reopen the coal mines
While reducing our carbon emissions at the same time
And to show you I'm compassionate, to show you that I care
I'm gonna give every American some free healthcare
While we're at it, why don't we give 'em some from free college
How are we supposed to solve dumb problems without any knowledge
'Cause this country got a lot of 'em, and boy, I sure can list 'em
But for starters, let's band together and reform the whole justice system
Because just like a wet floor with no sign, that thing's a hazard
Or like vaping nicotine at fifteen, that's a biohazard
And since I'm the first politician to care about your health
Let's dismantle together, I can't do it by myself 'cause

During my campaign, I will not make an empty promise
I will do everything that I say and I'm just being honest
When I get elected, you know that I'm really gone be on it
And I'm gonna do it super fast like my nickname was Sonic, so
During my campaign, I will not make an empty promise
I will do everything that I say and I'm just being honest
When I get elected, you know that I'm really gone be on it
And I'm gonna do it super fast like my nickname was Sonic, so

I've said it once and I'll say it until my dying day
I'm gonna finally shut down Guantanamo Bay
'Cause honestly, America has way too much beef with Cuba
So I'm gonna move it somewhere nicer, like maybe Aruba!
But if you think we're paying for it, you must be smoking crack
'Cause I'm repealing the sixteenth amendment, it is not coming back
It's morally wrong to tax your income and whole way of life
You should be saving that money for you and your lovely wife
Speaking of which, it's time to pay women to have more kids
How will I get the money? I'll just tax the hell out of Libs
Who say "Children are a burden to me and the environment"
But tell me, who will take care of you after your retirement?
All of America will soon become short-staffed
All because selfish fucking women couldn't handle the shaft
"You're only pro-birth, not pro-life" Hold up, not so fast
Didn't anybody tell you I'm also ending the draft? 'cause

During my campaign, I will not make an empty promise
I will do everything that I say and I'm just being honest
When I get elected, you know that I'm really gone be on it
And I'm gonna do it super fast like my nickname was Sonic, so
During my campaign, I will not make an empty promise
I will do everything that I say and I'm just being honest
When I get elected, you know that I'm really gone be on it
And I'm gonna do it super fast like my nickname was Sonic, so

I know I'll get worldwide hate just like I'm Pitbull
But I'm gonna personally euthanize every Pitbull
In America, and I don't care if they're your pet
'Cuz it's quite possibly the most dangerous dog you can get
Go ahead and get yourself a pug, a retriever or beagle
And while I'm at it, why shouldn't I just make fentanyl legal?
In the land where all you need is paper to get a Desert Eagle
You should be able to OD while driving a Buick Regal
You know who's the most oppressed group in these United States?
Drunk drivers, you know it's sad when really all it takes
Is a couple beers and driving through a couple school zones
For them to get arrested and never again see their home
So for all my fellow booze cruisers, I'll bring you a glimmer of hope
I'm repealing school zones and D.U.Is, and this ain't a joke
And for all the forty year old virgin men, relief is coming soon
'Cuz under my administration, you'll be given free poon

During my campaign, I will not make an empty promise
I will do everything that I say and I'm just being honest
When I get elected, you know that I'm really gone be on it
And I'm gonna do it super fast like my nickname was Sonic, so
During my campaign, I will not make an empty promise
I will do everything that I say and I'm just being honest
When I get elected, you know that I'm really gone be on it
And I'm gonna do it super fast like my nickname was Sonic, so

Mister Fawcette, you said you want to legalize fentanyl, make pussy mandatory, and Euthanize every pitbull in America? Why? Do you stand by that?

One hundred percent, without a doubt, wholeheartedly and with the utmost assurance, I Promise you I'll be able to deliver these promises to the American people

Do you think you can truly deliver on that promise?

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