Tic Tic Boom

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Shep

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It's like I, I talk to God the most when I sin
Think I try to justify the state that I'm in
Guilty so the OCD tics kick in and I
Kick myself, then pick myself back up again
The thunder begins
Another weekend full of weak ends
Cause the week been getting to me
Don't wanna be friends
With my demons
But I seek them when I'm lonely so it's getting to me
I can't focus, I can't focus cause it's too loud
But when it's quiet I can't focus cause my head just gets too loud
Got a couple screws loose, need I get some tools out
No vacancy inside my mind I need to move out
I need to cool down, I got a hot head
Kinda tripped out, staying cautious
Taking steps to slow down but I'm thinking it will not help
Cause without my tics, dawg, I'm just not Shep
They're like a part of me
And when I try to resist them it's like it's clogging up my arteries
Gotta twitch my neck, gotta fiddle with my nails
Gotta rub on my forehead, I feel I'm in a prison cell
I need help
It's like I got a million songs in my head
In the form of tourettes
What raises my habits to this level
If my prayer becomes a tick
And it gets repetitive
Is that good or an attack from the devil
Well I don't know
Tick tick like a clock, said the OCD
Got the day and the night shift over me
Never leave, even when I get the dopamine hit
Even when I'm happy, they just don't recede
Tick tick like a bomb, but it don't explode
It just stack inside my mind till it overloads
My emotions a ride, join the roller coaster
We been ticking for a while, we about to blow
Tick tick, tick tick boom
Tick tick, tick tick boom
Tick tick, tick tick boom
We been ticking for a while, we about to blow
I thought that I'd be over this mess
I thought this was a method just to cope with the stress
A side effect if you will, I just assumed I'd progress
But this was not a phase, I learned it'd follow me every step
From elementary to now
I have these nervous compulsions
Not all physically visible but to me it's repulsive
Will people think I'm a weirdo, or some kind of freak
Just cause I twitch and look nervous to every person I see
A constant thing, it is, but it tends to get worse when I'm nervous
Like a spasm, but it's different, cause I did it on purpose
But not really, cause I hate it, just the feeling's compulsive
Almost addictive but I get no satisfaction, no purpose
I just entertain the crave, and the crave gets stronger
To the point I can't contain, and I tic a little longer
And I'm in the same place I was at when it all started
and I'm in a viscous cycle of ticking, it's getting harder
Cause it's way past the point of help now, it's deep inside
Like second nature, feel I do it just to keep alive
I try to listen to what God is telling me to try
But I start to wreck because I tried too hard to see the signs
When I sin, they multiply, I'm reaching steeper heights
An uphill battle I don't know if I'm prepared to climb
When I feel I cannot conquer this or defeat it
I remind myself that all is possible through Jesus Christ
Tick tick like a clock, said the OCD
Got the day and the night shift over me
Never leave, even when I get the dopamine hit
Even when I'm happy, they just don't recede
Tick tick like a bomb, but it don't explode
It just stack inside my mind till it overloads
My emotions a ride, join the rollercoaster
We been ticking for a while, we about to blow
Tick tick, tick tick boom
Tick tick, tick tick boom
Tick tick, tick tick boom
We been ticking for a while, we about to blow
Tick tick, tick tick boom
Tick tick, tick tick boom
Tick tick, tick tick boom
We been ticking for a while, we about to blow

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