Help Me Please! (I Put A Metal Can In The Microwave)

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Ben Shafer

Zoo is an American drama television series based on the 2012 novel of the same name by James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge, the former also serving as an executive producer for the series, which stars James Wolk, Kristen Connolly, Nonso Anozie, Nora Arnezeder and Billy Burke as a group of varied professionals who investigates the mysterious outbreak of violent animal attacks upon humans all over the world. Zoo premiered on June 30, 2015, on CBS. CBS renewed the series for a third season in August 2016, which aired between June 29 and September 21, 2017. On October 23, 2017, CBS announced the series had been cancelled after three seasons. more »

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It was the day of August twenty-fath
I had just arrived home from the community bath
Went up into my kitchen to grab some grub
Because my stomach was feeling like an empty tub

There was something resting on my pant-u-ry shelf
That I wanted to cook and put into my self
I disregarded the instructions which I now regret
And into the microwave that can of soup went

Help me please
I put a metal can in the microwave
Holy jeez
I put my can of soup in the microwave
Heart disease
My can of soup made lightning in the microwave
Tooshie squeeze
I made a small bomb with my microwave

Flaming trees
I started a small fire in my microwave
Cough and wheeze
It got very big in my microwave
Polished knees
The fire spread out of my microwave
Giant sneeze
I burnt the house down with my microwave

This next verse talks about sonic, I just, wanted you to know that it means a lot to me

Mistakes are made
The past's the past
Can you believe Sonic actually goes that fast
But let's not put our blue furry friend on the wire
No way he's fast enough to stop my microwave fire

I knew at that moment my house stood no chance
So I packed up my bags and, did a sad man dance
Embarrassed, I jumped on out of my house
Called the firefighters, this is what I told them about

Help me please
I put a metal can in the microwave
Holy jeez
I put my can of soup in the microwave
Heart disease
My can of soup made lightning in the microwave
Tooshie squeeze
I made a small bomb with my microwave

Flaming trees
I started a small fire in my microwave
Cough and wheeze
It got very big in my microwave
Polished knees
The fire spread out of my microwave
Giant sneeze
I burnt the house down with my microwave

This is 911, what's your emergency

Uh, I set my house on fire

Oh, well how'd that happen

I, uh... I put metal can of soup in the microwave

Yeah

Yeah and then I cooked it for 3 minutes

Okay, we'll be there as fast as we can

Help me please
I put a metal can in the microwave
Holy jeez
I put my can of soup in the microwave
Heart disease
My can of soup made lightning in the microwave
Tooshie squeeze
I made a small bomb with my microwave

Flaming trees
I started a small fire in my microwave
Cough and wheeze
It got very big in my microwave
Polished knees
The fire spread out of my microwave
Giant sneeze
I burnt the house down with my microwave

Help me please
I put a metal can in the microwave
Holy jeez
I put my can of soup in the microwave
Heart disease
My can of soup made lightning in the microwave
Tooshie squeeze
I made a small bomb with my microwave

Flaming trees
I started a small fire in my microwave
Cough and wheeze
It got very big in my microwave
Polished knees
The fire spread out of my microwave
Giant sneeze
I burnt the house down with my microwave

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