Unpossessed

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Jorby

4:45

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When I woke up, I couldn't wait to get ahead
I got two hours till the meds are kicking in, oh
I've been waiting my whole life to come to this
And when it's here, I'll throw the caution to the wind
The clarity that I've been trying to attain
Cut through the fog and the explosions in my brain
I'm feeling present in the moment
can't remember the last time I wasn't overloaded
but there's just one more thing I just can't seem to find the will to pass
I'm struggling with the aftermath
I'm struggling with the aftermath of an emotional heart attack
I'm thinking of all of the straws I grasped at
I don't wanna think about
I think about all of the missing chances
A victim of circumstances
I couldn't get any second chances
I couldn't command it
It's getting too hard of a pill to swallow
That all of these pills I swallow
Are gonna be what i take control of
My self control
Im making a self-obsessed confession
My brain wasn't my possession
I wasn't sure how to readdress it
And now I'm unpossessed
The clarity that I've been seeking's what I have
The remedy to what I'm facing is a fix that I'm awaiting like a addict every morning and
I always had just what it took to make a path
I had to find my missing chemistry
can't do it on my own and I can't seem to come to terms with that
I'm struggling with the aftermath of an emotional heart attack
I'm thinking of all of the chances laughed at
I don't wanna talk about
I could have made it so much farther
Why was it so much harder
When did my brain make a full departure
I'm on my own
It's getting too hard of a pill to swallow
With all of these pills I swallow
I'll be the one that'll take control of
My self control
I'm making a self-oppressed expression
My brain wasn't my possession
I wasn't sure how to repossess it
And now I'm unpossessed
The unpossession has lifted a veil from my eyes
Allowing me to finally see the world as it truly is
It's a revelation
A rush of colour and sound that was once muted and distant in a thick fog
But even as I revel in this newfound clarity
I can't help but think about all the years I spent stumbling in the dark
Vision clouded by my inability to stand up for myself
It's like waking up from a long, troubled dream
only to realize that the world has moved on without you
I'm never gonna stray from the patterns I mention
It's always like I'm lost in a silent obsession
I packed my thoughts away, it's a mental recession
And still I never learn any valuable lessons
I-I should have known that it was my impressions
And no, I'm not condoning the constant objections
So then I let it out in a final confession
And then I took the remedy for my possession
I'm gonna break away getting stuck in the moment
I'm done with everything that could possibly slow it
I made it through the day, no time to blow it
I came to find my brain's my main opponent
It met an easy end with the chemical weapons
All those intrusive thoughts couldn't manage to get in
I'm finding what I sought, took me years to get it
Nothing else could block me from finding the peace that I should have found years ago
I'm grateful for this new perspective, but I can't help feeling like I've missed out on something
Like I've arrived too late to the party
I know I should be grateful for this second chance
This opportunity to live a life that I was once too anxious and afraid to pursue
But the weight of all those wasted years is heavy on my shoulders
And it's hard not to feel like I'm forever playing catch-up to a life that has already passed me by
I'm only gonna stray from the patterns I mentioned
It's always like I'm lost in a silent obsession
I packed my thoughts away, like a mental recession
And still I never learn any valuable lessons
I think I've always known I was in a recession
I don't want any more of the constant objections
So then I locked away all the silent obsessions
Because I took the remedy for my possession, I'll never sleep again
I wonder about all the roads not taken
The opportunities squandered
Relationships left to wither on the vine
It's a bitter pill to swallow, this sense of regret and loss that haunts me
Even as I try to move forward

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