Midnight on Miflin Road
Nomrah
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Yo Got uh, the Shure SM58 plugged in Uh, just doin' this in the room in the studio instead of in the booth Just holding the mic, I uh I guess I wanted to just write something personal and See where it takes me So uh, ahem Here we go Age 12, saw my mom get cornered in the pantry Uncle feelin' up her thighs, he's sure to put them hands deep Up between her legs, I think I know what's comin' next Dad and pops were outside and I was frozen with my breath Thank God she pushed 'em off, he's lookin' like he's lost He thinks he won this fuckin game, he used you as his pawn Father didn't believe you, thought the story was deceitful Wasn't 'til years and years later that he would see through His toxic haze and all mistakes he made up 'til now I thought at that point, he was changin', like, "Wow Dad's home for lunch, we're playin' video games He's not here gettin' drunk to call you all them names" You kicked his ass out, made him move back with grandpa One too many drunk fights, plus the uncle issue I saw right through his plan just like a diorama Crying to my therapist until I'm out of tissues His plan to weave his way into your heart was simple Act like he's truly sorry for acting scarred and sinful Then about a month later once the issue's resolved Show your true colors, 'cuz you didn't change at all I thought a happy family may be in sight But I don't think I'll ever be right At least not in that regard F*ck Listen Right on back to the drinkin', back to the fighting At this point I'm starting high school, strugglin' in Science Keep my head down, man I fuckin' feel tired From all my male role models clutchin' to violence Sexuality in question, who the f*ck am I? I hope that I can turn to you for comfort or a plan, right? Oh right, I'm sorry, we were never really close You seem to think you gave me everything, well that's a hoax I appreciate the things you provide for us financially But that just don't excuse all the things that I was there to see You put your hands on my fuckin' momma, almost me too Had to call 911 to get them to speed through Part of me's happy that I don't have your DNA And part of me regrets even taking your last name Flipping it backwards and now it's my artist name That represents flipping a curse around for the right thing And on the topic of names, I'd like to discuss one A brother I don't talk about, I'm keepin' him unsung Got kicked out for sellin' drugs as soon you were 18 Mom could've lost us, man, I thought we were same team Addicted to toxicity, it fits you best You're never reaching out lately, except for checks You're throwing your life away 'cuz you're fuckin' complacent And didn't have the drive to take a step out of those dangers I prayed for you until my fuckin' faith was gone I stayed with you and had your back even when you were fuckin' wrong I hoped that you would man up and be the brother I needed But all of you fuckin' failed, so now I feel depleted You abandoned me Dad traumatized me And my biological father left me And went and had two other kids with a new family So I have two half-siblings who I may never meet And ya know what? You knew that And you still refused to be a brother to me Despite my anger, I can't really say I hate you, though Although I wish I could, I feel like our pain's relatable Both our dads were abusive, both were alcoholics Both made us feel like we'd never be enough regardless I turned to art for therapy, you turned to the pills Turned to the hard drugs that are killin' you still We both have our own vices and ways that we cope now But I just really fuckin' wish you picked a different road to go down And to my dad, I hope you know this song isn't meant to slander you Music is my therapy, so that means I need to stand for truth And not bullshit a single thing I say when I feel it I hope one day you'll change and feel happy with fulfillment I know you have traumas that we ain't ever talked about Repressed emotions caused by the things that you're now blockin' out I know it's not easy to open up about your struggles I hope one day you'll come to me, we'll be real with each other And to my biological father, I hope you're doing well I hope your acting career is amazing and you excel And if one day the time comes where we will finally meet I hope that you'll explain to me why you went to leave Nothing can forgive the pain you put my momma through That woman is my fuckin' rock, that credit's overdue But I'd be willing to talk to you if you'd give me a chance And maybe I'll forgive you for not being a man I don't want this letter to come across like I'm bitter My life ain't never been better, through dark and stormier weather I just finally felt the time was right to talk about this I hope this message humbles the ego of those with prowess If you three ever end up hearing this Just know my heart has no malice whatsoever This is me expressing my hurt My pain My anger Through my art Communicating, like I learned how to do through therapy Expressing the ways in which I felt like I was let down as a child And ways I wish my childhood was better Healthier More nourishing More nurturing And the saddest part is I know I'm not the only one I know I'm not the only one who's dealt with these things I just wish that all of the male role models in my life Most of which failed me Would take responsibility for the ways their own trauma The lack of resolution of those traumas And the toxic masculinity plaguing the brains of so many men May have negatively impacted my growth and maturing as a human being As a spirit seeking growth, evolution, and enlightenment Midnight on Miflin Road
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"Midnight on Miflin Road Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 16 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/11298440/Nomrah/Midnight+on+Miflin+Road>.
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