Losing

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Olivia McKeon

4:05

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I cried in your car
You drove slow like you were afraid we'd crash if you hit sixty
I cracked when you were with me
I don't remember the last time I let myself cry
Around someone other than her
I don't think you had the words

Feel like we're trying to ignore it all
When I know it's better to sit in the feeling
When we get home I'll shut the door and I'll text you from behind
Some weird misshapen line

I can get angry in front of anyone
I can laugh about the stupid things she said
But I don't know how to completely let myself go
Eyes all blurry, you're turning up the radio

I just want someone to hold me
Tell me you're not going anywhere
I'm terrified and lonely
It feels like no one in the world could care about me that deeply when
She lost the love and who's to say it won't happen again

I was good for two days
She isn't crying while I'm in the waves
The roar of the ocean, I'm no longer hoping for a return
It's ten PM and a text came through "can we work this out, maybe it's you"
But maybe isn't gonna cut it this time

Lay on the couch, there's a tissue box living there now
Kind of incredible it still seems to be full
Watching the flowers grow where I sit in the morning
Happy but mourning who I was before
Knowing that there's more to come

But I just want someone to hold me
Tell me you're not going anywhere
I'm terrified and lonely
It feels like no one in the world could care about me that deeply when
She lost the love and who's to say it won't happen again
Again again again oh again

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