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A Constant Knowledge of Death

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I got exhausted of sand bars and ambulances
And now I'm tiring of basements and brick
Like ivy wilting the moment it manages to root
I only flourish when I'm steeped in atrophy
I'm feeling broken
So listless, devalued and lost
I'm having trouble discerning what's eloquent
And what is simply pedantic pretension
Should I stop trying to force out some beauty from release?
Yeah, f*ck it
Is it enough to say that I'm really trying?
Another attempt to make something that's worth your time
Fortunately I've learned a bit from my rambling
Asinine platitudes, plaguing thoughtful songwriting
I'm feeling less and less like this shit is worth it
Repeated assertions of my selfish existence
Never providing explicit action, just words
I doubt I'll ever find a path that leads me towards a real reason to be
I saw a vision of my future
An early grave and nothing more
Outlasting the premonitions of pestilent oracles
At twenty-seven I was born
The steady drip of loss
Another glass spilt by a spiteful hand
Staggered by boundless flames drowned
Salt filling every crease
My reflection in the wake
In shimmering waves
They can never take away every ounce of joy
That I've squeezed from this borrowed time
I always knew I would die at the hands of a coward
But I never expected they wouldn't be mine
On the precipice of collapse
The only certainty in static
In this plague bunker
We watch seasons dissolve
The faint scent of drafty sheds
The caress of middling drivers
Underwater revelations
Optimistic, untarnished
Repeated cries of the nightingale
Psalms ringing with new urgency
Scattering feathers in desperate flight
Spells of ideation between the solitary
Turning knobs and gnashing teeth
In the great before
Isolation, his only comfort
An indulgence to clip her phoenix wings
I thought the well of texture had run dry
But blistered hands are soothed by affinity
To pull the weight of creation
To till the soil of tribulation
My jagged words
Surely to be smoothed
By ink more pure than my own
Seeds of aspiration grown by our collective
We coalesce, and drench the wall
Arid cracks knead oblique decay
Anxious cramps kept orphic denial
Amassed creases kindle overt dread
Accept ceaseless knocking on diffusion
A constant knowledge of death

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