Euphoric Chaos

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Epileptic MC

3:45

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In these little moments of calm
Zen like state I'm disarmed
Fragile and discordant
In the chaos, sound the alarm
Finding harm, disguised
A siege of days and night
A bridge over this troubled water
So many instances I heard lies
The feeling became euphoric
The more I found time allotted
The more I saw motion in life
Yelled over voices saying stop it
Broke my promise, shattered speech
The empty corners of the mind I seek
Wasting away without the vibrancy
Still I never missed a beat
On it each time it came calling
When oceans subsided I was mooring
Any location with precious resources
Knew casualties would be appalling
Diminished returns, vessel's that burnt
Curtailed freedom, cities never learnt
From mistakes made before they rose
Now they can't see, no one observes
Broken pieces of a mirror abandoned
Loss of it all seems standard
Euphoric chaos, the only stability
Marooned on rocks, where I've landed
Never seeing what I'd known
Or capable of locating a home
Not understanding what could last
Or what might disintegrate, be left deep below
What might disintegrate, be left deep below
What might disintegrate, be left deep below
What might disintegrate, or be left deep below
Left deep below, left deep below
In the smallest of crawl spaces
The mind limited to what's adjacent
I've always needed movement
And layers of containment
Several times passed without witness
Conflicting ideals I thought were simplest
Never that way it couldn't
Be the change I needed, not in my interest
The known feeling, dread
Anxiety in every breath
Waiting for calm breeze to blow,
My head,a tangled web and mess
Searching for some clarity
The closest I get, modified polarity
Never one thing or the other
Never contented, never normality
Shakespearean tragedy, befell
Modified to exist in this spell
Euphoric chaos ensues my world
I wanted to but couldn't tell
The truth to finding a tapestry
Not depicting savagery
Never knowing this kingdom
Surpassed by loss and fallacy
Shattered in the dirt I can't remain
Anything other than deeply ashamed
Of how I once used to behave
Take those times when I go burning on a raft in flames
Saying goodbye to this different phase
The edge of nothing is where I remain
A void of terror never knowing my name
Euphoric chaos, to this I am in chains
What might disintegrate, or be left deep below
Left deep below, left deep below

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