A SAD BOY'S JOURNAL

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empxth

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Here I am again, reporting to my book of homage
I thought I stuffed down all the demons, but they're back to punish
It's hard to move when there's a mental block in every comment
Punching, poking, prodding, acknowledging that I got a problem
I guess that's just the start of my life
Went from seeking all acceptance, till it couldn't be mine
Eventually, I paved a way to make it work for the time
And now I'm back here, sitting helpless, with the pain by my side
I tried to survive
Wrote a thousand records
I tried to make a way for me to out this fucking anger inside
It seems like everyday I fought to make it work, till it died
And now the ghost is living aimlessly inside of my mind
The pocketed eye
Writing for the fuel to fire
Didn't matter what you thought, because I hated it
Why?
Passed the trembling
I learned again to make it to life
And now I'm back here with the questions that began this whole fight
Never felt so irrelevant
Tripping over arrogance
The same fucking goals in my mind to make it embarrassment
I've been a lot of things, but I never thought an embarrassment
I use these fucking beats as a mask, and you as my therapist

Yeah, here I am again recording all my dark emotions
I figured by now, I'd be satisfied, and not need this coping
I'm only strong when distractions outweigh the very motives talking in my ear
Trying to tell me I'm nothing but a comic
It's funny not dealing with it and running
Just betting on my life, while I scramble to feeling something
Laying there in darkness, while focusing on just one thing
That temporary pain is the first step to feeling nothing
Blinded by the pain and the darkness I never dealt with
Emotions are running faster than life, and I can't replenish
When my mind is fucking gone, and my thoughts are only just ending
Invested in too much, now my passion is slowly denting
Tryna search and find the answer to something that isn't vested
Infested inside with demons that never give up possession
Repressing all that I can before everything makes me breathless
I'm hoping I can find what I'm looking for in the ending

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