Sick of Myself

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I think my friends are sick of me and I don't blame 'em
It kind of seems like my relationships, I can't sustain 'em
They think I'm sick in the head
Because I'm spittin' like I wish I was dead
When really I just need to act a little different instead
I'm weak in the knees, I ain't getting all the shit that I need
I barely eat, all I'm taking in is caffeine and weed
I go to work, I'm feeling weak because I can't go to sleep
Then every now and then I find some time to cook up a beat
Now break it down, ain't been feeling like myself in a while
Man, it's some days that I just can't even smile
Can't even fake it, try to cry but I'm feeling too vacant
On my mind is only fear that I'm just not gonna make it
Now it's change that I'm seeking, I'm living life in a particular sequence
I'm feeling bad about the food that I'm eating
It's too much meat, my dude, I'm thinking that I might just go vegan
Barely breathing and I'm tryna find what could be the reason

Alone with no one to tell
Don't talk to nobody else
And I'm getting pretty sick of myself

I'm tired of asking for help
I'll play the cards I was dealt
And I'm getting pretty sick of myself

I tell my friends I wanna kill myself, they don't believe me
They don't take me seriously, that's just how they perceive me
And true, there's few things that they could possibly do
And plus, they probably wanna fucking kill themselves too
Every move that I make proves as counterproductive
Scumboogie ruins everything he touches
This is self destruction, I'm pretending to be someone I'm not
I start to care what people think when I get caught up in thoughts
About the past, when I had some people taking advantage
Had to manage all my manners while I'm taking the damage
Now your man is weary when you're telling me shit
'Cause I had people acting on some Machiavellian shit
We're incongruent, I'm not weak or easily influenced
I can cut you off, I just don't feel the need to do it
Like I think that in the future we can make amends
Maybe then I can say I'm pretty good at making friends

Alone with no one to tell
Don't talk to nobody else
And I'm getting pretty sick of myself

I'm tired of asking for help
I'll play the cards I was dealt
And I'm getting pretty sick of myself

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