Super Carbonella Light

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Carbonella

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Let me tell you a story
It's kind of boring, but it has a moral, I swear
So, I was walking around City Life the other day
I swear I don't do this often
I had just overdone it with my antidepressants
And I needed to keep my serotonin reuptake in check
So... I met this guy, right?
You know the kind of guy: cheap suit, fake teeth
He came to me, and he was like

Hey, man, can I have a minute of your time?
Check out this new drug, give it a try
You'll forget all your problems
Everything will be alright
And also you'll die very soon

The price was high, let's face it
But the promise was fascinating
Although the guy seemed kind of shady

So, when he was downtalking, I told him
What do you mean "forget all your problems"?
Also, I didn't quite get the last part
What did you say?
He said: Everything will be alright
I said: No, man, after that
You know, whatever, forget it
Just tell me what the f*ck this is, you know

It's very simple, my friend
We all need something to hang on to
This gives you a reason to live

Super Carbonella Light
Is going to make everything alright
You're going to be high as a kite
And also you'll die very soon

I keep not understanding the last part. Anyway, f*ck it, let's try it
I took the damn thing and my brain immediately started going like
"Na na na na na na na na na na na na", like the Batman jingle
I said: That's some good shit, you know?
I really forgot all about my problems
I also forgot what my fucking name is
But that don't matter
Anyway, why is it called Carbonella again?
Does it help light up your barbecue or something?
He said: No, it's because it was originally conceived
As a flatulence medication
But side effects included
Blindness
Constipation
Paralysis
Hallucinations
Panic attacks
Reincarnation
Populism
Spontaneous combustion
And also you'll die very soon

Super Carbonella Light
Is going make everything alright
You're going to be high as a kite
Your troubles all fade away
As you just sit and decay
Everything is peachy and you're always okay
And also you'll die very soon

So I said: That's awesome!
It's going to solve another one of my problems
Because, you should know, flatulence is one of my biggest problems
And he said: Yeah, I noticed
Well
Anyway, why is it called Super Carbonella Light?
Does it mean there's a heavy version?
He said: Yeah, but it's not that different
The music and lyrics are just a little more aggressive
It goes something like this

You are not remotely ready for Super Carbonella Heavy!
It's one of those unnecessarily aggressive drugs
That your mother thinks someone will slip in your cocktail

Super Carbonella Heavy
Is going to f*ck you up, baby
You don't take it orally, but anally
It's going to be like getting your brain smashed
Your ass is going to burn for days
And also you'll die very slowly!

So, I paid the guy, went home, and died soon thereafter
The moral is: we all need some kind of drug
Just do whatever gets you by
Until you die very soon

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