Ways They Can't Forget

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Big Lugg

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It all started when I couldn't get out of bed
It all started when I couldn't get out my head
It only ends if I leave myself for dead
My thoughts are plagued by what I should've done instead
I can't even recognize regret
Hands are covered in scars by cigarettes
And if I left, I know I'd leave them all upset
I wanna leave on good terms
In ways they can't forget
Huh, shuffle through my drawers full of meds
Popped 'em since I was four and look at it where it led
Red green color blind, all I see is red
Where am I when all is done and all is said
But, why's that fall on me, please
I'd do it all again if need be
I'm an outsider at home
Tell me why that's so
It all started when I couldn't get out of bed
It all started when I couldn't get out my head
It only ends if I leave myself for dead
My thoughts are plagued by what I should've done instead
I can't even recognize regret
Hands are covered in scars by cigarettes
And if I left, I know I'd leave them all upset
I wanna leave on good terms
In ways they can't forget
Holdup, now it's my moment
I'ma be a little selfish here, but I'll own it
Every day I stumble as I'm searching for atonement
Man, it's a trip
Ask me who I should phone in
Oh, wait
Trip of atonement, we endure like a prayer
Fire style dropped and now the chakras getting shared
Well, except for my parts
All I hear is they don't care
But I try to focus on the good
I swear I'm in repair
It all started when I couldn't get out of bed
It all started when I couldn't get out my head
It only ends if I leave myself for dead
My thoughts are plagued by what I should've done instead
I can't even recognize regret
Hands are covered in scars by cigarettes
If I left, I know I'd leave them all upset
I wanna leave on good terms
In ways they can't forget
I can't stay where I've been
Nor can can I go back
I can't say come again
Cause what if I crack
I can't say in many subtle ways
But I've tried to kill myself, many times
I have no comfort for myself or my loved ones
I'm sorry, but I'm working on myself and it's a tough one
I'm praying and I'm crying and I'm doing my best
Put my strongest foot forward and I say it with my chest
I don't want to die but I'm severely depressed
I just throw it up to God and I'm handling the rest
It all started when I couldn't get out of bed
It all started when I couldn't get out my head
It only ends if I leave myself for dead
My thoughts are plagued by what I should've done instead
I can't even recognize regret
Hands are covered in scars by cigarettes
And if I left, I know I'd leave them all upset
I wanna leave on good terms
In ways they can't forget

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