beautiful boy

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Bobby Nair

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Beautiful boy, when we were so young
When we were so dumb
Try and explain it to them
But I didn't know if I could be any help
Are we alive
Am I alive

I've felt the sickness so many times
I can see the blood on my hands, I can tell you it was never mine
Apathy, that was the only gift you ever had for me
Importance is relative, action is imperative, all these silly stories start to make you lose the narrative

And God
Punish me for my existence
Spare me for my shame
Let me devour the sun in a spectacle to get you to believe that I've changed
And I'm alive in your body, awake in your dreams
But I just can't seem to figure out what that means

Beautiful boy, kiss me until I die
Or f*ck off for the rest of my life
Nobody can save you
But not just anybody can tame you
Was he right
Is this my life

Cut to the pageants of highlighter kids and horse girls
They didn't pick this fight
All they ever did was take tiny little steps back towards the light
How awful we are
Ruined by spite

And I've seen things that will make your stomach turn
And I'm holding out hope that there's somebody on the other side willing to learn
To learn
To learn (to listen is not to be heard)
To learn
To learn, to learn

And God
Punish me for my existence
Spare me for my shame
Let me devour the sun in a spectacle to get you to believe that I've changed
And I'm alive in your body, awake in your dreams
But I just can't seem to figure out what that means
Beautiful boy
Beautiful boy, ohh

Who really gives a shit, my friends never mattered that much to me anyway
Are you sure?

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