Overthinking (Raw Demo Version)

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Timmy Little

4:11

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I don't know how to explain what's going on inside of me
I just know that something's wrong
I don't know how to explain the darkness that's guiding me
Can't resist so go along
Seems like I'm always in the place that I got to be
Except for when I don't belong
Thoughts race from overthinking and I pace constantly
I can't keep this up for long
You got questions, I got answers
Except they're dead inside my brain like cancer
Trapped inside myself like I'm a maze, I can't
For the life of me, figure out this life I'm after
I've never been real brave my weak mind
Controls how I behave and how I speak, I feel fine
No, I don't, but I don't want to be a burden
Me, I'm Tyler Durden
One minute I'm me, one minute I'm you
And I can never get a word in
Nobody cares to listen, they only pretend to
And when they share their wisdom, they often offend you
A bad egg who never paid attention in school
Just your average student pre-approved for mental issues
Had ADHD since I was the age of two
Not to mention depression and anxiety to boot
And everybody wonders why I chose heroin to shoot
I didn't it chose me because I allowed it and that's truth
Was told I could be anything I put my mind to
But it's a struggle when you'll settle to be anything but you
Call me Colonel Mustard cause I didn't have a clue
I found joy in a pill, 30mil, a pretty blue
Blew the courage up my nose through a plain old dollar bill
In the end it stole my soul, search for peace to make me whole
Fell in love with opiates, you all don't even know me yet
Is he alive, I hope he is, he'll never know how dope he is
A tale of modern tragedy, and here's the rope he did it with
Tied it off, blasted off, but what about his kids and shit
Good riddance bitch, this is it
Found lying in his piss and shit
Choking on his puke and spit
Soaking in on his new kicks
Then he's hit with the NARCAN, which sparked his heart to start
And he nearly exploded with adrenaline, the way a star can, from afar
And you should be praying on that same star
Thanking GOD, you're even alive, damn
I don't know how to explain what's going on inside of me
I just know that something's wrong
I don't know how to explain the darkness that's guiding me
Can't resist so go along
Seems like I'm always in the place that I got to be
Except for when I don't belong
Thought's race from overthinking and I pace constantly
I can't keep this up for long
Can't stop talking to myself, did I say that out loud
Can't keep up with my thoughts, they just circle around
I get no peace when I'm awake, I fall asleep and drown
In a sea of nightmares that keep pulling me down
Until I wake up, choking, sweating bullets, I can't do this
Got no other choice but push through this
Rush I'm fluent with, disgust with who I am
Fucked up in the head just must be who I am
Genetically, set to be, mentally empty
Can't let it get to me, maybe it's meant to be
To live where the rent is free
Arguing with myself, and everybody else
I pretend that they're dead to me
So sick and tired of the demons inside of me
Everywhere I go the insanity follows me
Get inside my brain like some kind of lobotomy
Get me talking crazy, like it's the voices it got to be
Doc up the meds, I'm going crazy again
Because this time, I'm thinking about killing family and friends
Kill my pregnant sister before her family even begins
You're sick, that wasn't me that was the voices in my head
Ya see, mental health is finicky, I'm on the edge like skaters be
What has gotten into me, I'm losing it like baby teeth
Foaming like a rabid beast, alone in my macabre deeds
And the source of all the craziness for me is low self-esteem
I don't know how to explain what's going on inside of me
I just know that something's wrong
I don't know how to explain the darkness that's guiding me
Can't resist so go along
Seems like I'm always in the place that I got to be
Except for when I don't belong
Thought's race from overthinking and I pace constantly
I can't keep this up for long
Well, well, well, Timmy L, from hell I greet you
I'm the evil lurking in yourself, nice to meet you
I'm the demon feeding on your soul like a leach do
I hate it when you're happy it gets so hard to reach you
I'm here to help you make bad decisions
Give up on a higher living
Overthink until you standing there spinning
Let down, not one but three women
Put your family through hell from addictions you're living
F*ck the children, you're almost over the hill now
Time to self-care until you OD on pills now
Rest in peace Mac
We know fentanyl kills now
I've done enough I've seen enough
Don't need no more thrills now
What the f*ck you mean, why you putting up a fight
Why you walking straight lines, and not staying out at night
You might be doing better, but soon you'll lose sight
F*ck it, I'll come and get you while sleep for the night
Give me your love your soul everything that makes you whole
In return, your family puts your body in a hole
Remain eternally cold, while hell be burning your soul
Decay, return you to bones, today I'll leave you alone
Until the day you fall into my zone, I'll be waiting to take you
Home

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