grandma's words

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Caleb McCleney

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I've been looking for you all my life
For you day and night
For you all my life
I've been looking for you all my life
For you day and night
For you all my life
The Bible says the tongue is so powerful I know it's true
Felt it's repercussions as I ran to grandma not knowing that a fight would ensue between us
The dust from the play ground tinted my Nike shoes
And my blue jeans she was mad cause they were brand new
She said I hope you don't act like them McCleney's when you older
And I don't even like the fact that your father married my daughter
And if I'm being honest you'll probably amount to nothing
And that one cut me to my core I swear you hit me where it hurts
Put me in a fit of rage tears streaming down my face
You good for nothing - I hate you so much
Hahaha you acting just like them McCleney's again
You can't control your emotions
Why don't you act like a man
She said you going to treat every woman like that when you get older
I'm only five I can barely handle this on my shoulder
You said I'll end up in jail
And if you said that to me you probably said that to my mother as well
Grandmas words
I've been looking for you all my life
For you day and night
For you all my life
I've been looking for you all my life
For you day and night
For you all my life
And as you said that my head was pounding louder and louder
I was tearfully crying starting to say that I'm doubting that
Life had any meaning and I just wanted to end it
She started laughing again ha saying I didn't mean it
But I did and I would've if Micah didn't exist
So I pushed it down and took all of her words so he could live
And normal life of a child and wouldn't have to persist
Through all of the same things I had to go through as a kid
You had no idea what I was going through
First I was abused then I had to come home and listen to you
You had no idea how bad your words hurt me
I was just a kid
How can you expect me to be normal through all of this
God knew to keep me away from drugs
Cause if I would've got a little buzz
I would've said - the consequences and laid you out in front of the judge
See I was taught never to hit a woman and I never will
But I swear to God if you were a man I would've had you killed
And you wonder why I hate you so much
And you wonder why I never open up
And you wonder why my emotions were such
Because your words stung with a power of generational hurt
Grandmas words
I've been looking for you all my life
For you day and night
For you all my life
I've been looking for you all my life
For you day and night
For you all my life
And your words can inhibit a curse that will remain
Until them words exit your breath while you're in the grave
Or then words you heard from your momma slowly become true
And the thought of that being you makes you repeat them to your grandson
And he starts to wonder where's God
And he starts to wonder what really went on with his mom
When she was young
But now as I'm older I've learned to forgive
But I'll never forget how you treated me as a kid
Two faced whenever my friends were around
So they'll never know how you treated me year round
Your words hurt me so much I still bleed
On the pages but thankfully you've taught me one thing
Your words mean more than and silver or gold
Or any type of present that you can bestow
On another human being so I'll choose them well
And I'll never bring my wife and kids this generational hell
Grandmas words
I've been looking for you all my life
For you day and night
For you all my life
I've been looking for me
Since we know the simple role of a tongue
Has the same strength of momma birthing you into this world then
Why do we let them flow so freely from our lips
No care in the world as to where they might land on another
Syllables like poison seeping into the cracks of a young-in's heart
No empathetic feeling towards the swollen aorta you caused
Vocal cords playing such a dissonant sound
Piercing the eardrums that we ignore at all times
Lifelong damage caused by a Freudian slip
The same lips that can tear you down you can kiss
Which can spark the materials you'll need to build
A bond so strong that nothing can tear it apart
But that same spark can burn it all down in a moments notice
Why don't we choose our words more carefully
When the same words you use to build someone up
Get said with a different tone can destroy them
Grandmas words

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