20 Quid Orange

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Thee Mongrels

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In 2019 I chose voluntary homelessness
All the people would ask me
Why would you do such a thing to yourself

My family would call me a cunt almost every night
Cos I'm a cunt sometimes
Sometimes I'm not
Sometimes I'm really kind

And Mr. Straynge
Is something I decided to call myself
When anybody called me a cunt
Here's a little story for you

One night in my old man's house
I took an orange and a twenty pound note
I said
This is what I think about money
Tell me what you think about this, old man

I took the orange in my hand
I said
Look how useful this little thing could be
But it's worth nothing compared to this piece of plastic money

But inside it carries
Multiple seeds that can grow multiple trees
That seems pretty handy
Pretty handy to me

Then I pointed at the twenty pound note
I said it's not worth the plastic it's printed on
Compared to this orange

If some day everybody decided this money was worth nothing
What you gonna do then with this piece of plastic
You can't plant it and you can't eat it
That's what I think about money

My father stood bemused
He didn't look amused
He said
Why do you have to be such a little cunt sometimes, Mr. Straynge

So it was at that moment I decided
I would go find something to live in where no one could tell me
The way I wanted to live was strange

So I found myself living in a brewery in The Medway Towns
Just me and my dog Boris
We would go to work during the day in a cafe
We would come home at night via a pub called The Nag's Head
Just to warm our little cockles
Before going back and shivering in a cold old shitty brewery

And I loved it

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