At This Festival

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Steven Tart

4:02

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Listen mate I feel fuckin weird man I just
Are you having a whitey?
I just wanna be on my own
Are you having a whitey?
F*ck off mate
I smoked too much fuckin' weed
I didn't actually smoke it I ate it
At this festival the whole point is that you bring something to share with others
I can't remember what I brought
F*ck all that's what
Some people were sharing their hash cake
And of course yer know it didn't kick in for
ages
So I had some more and then some hash fudge as well
Fatty
It was a posh private invite thing
Sting was there and so was Bruce Party from Tribe
He was a lovely guy but I never met Sting
And I remember being in a queue for a bus
That was a bar
A big red bus
And thinking what is the destination of this bus?
But then thinking no it's a bar it's not going anywhere
And then the hash kicked in proper
And the bright red bus was drained of all its colour
It was black and white the whole world was black and white
And I panicked man I thought I was going blind
And I had waves of terror run up and down my body
And I was gonna die man there and then
Right by the grey bus selling fancy fuckin cocktails
And I ran and I reached a park with swings and a slide
I swang for a bit Or swinged
Or however it is you say it
It's swung
But it brought me no joy
So I sat in my mates car
And there was music on the radio
And I felt calm for 3 seconds
Errn, derr, twaaa
And in the pitch black
The windows steamed up
I became convinced that the car was slowly floating through the universe and
festival lights were the fuckin stars
And somehow we were breathing in space
but then it became terrifying
I had to wind down the window to check we were still on earth
And I saw the grass and the wheels on the grass
So we were safe
And I felt better
For about 3 seconds
2, 3

And then I was convinced that I was gonna die again
And I didn't wanna die in front of everyone
So I got into my tent
But it was so quiet
And I was terrified again (are you gonna shit yerself)
I had a wind up radio
And I thought music would help
I wound it up and it came on
And I was happy for like 3 seconds
Whistling
Woah this shit is strong
So now I'm rolling around in the foetal position
Having One long panic attack
There's no way this shit is lasting longer than 3 hours
So I started measuring the passage of time
4,5,6 hours
And it just became more intense
How the f*ck can it be intensifying?
There must have been something else in that
Hash cake or the fancy fuckin cocktail

I start hallucinating
I see a giant metal office drawer
Stretching back for eternity
Full of thousands of green folders
And thousands of red folders
Instinctively I understand that the green represent
Moral decisions I've made
When I've been kind to myself and others
Each red folder represents being a bit of a twat
There's lots of red ones
One at a time they fly from the drawer straight into my chest
And explode like apparitions
I must re-live each one for what seems like an eternity
I lose track of time watching the movie of my life so far
All of these moments
All these decisions
Seemingly taken without consequence
Yet here I must reckon with em
In this place that's outside of time
A short trip inside my mind
In order to take back the gift
Of a little less fear

So why the f*ck am I so worried about how I look or what you might think of me?
When the bits of the universe that make me are gonna be other things for way longer
So maybe I should be kinder to myself?
When I hear that inner critic call me a piece of shit
I have a mantra now
That doesn't help
Tell me something that does
And it's helping
And I'm well aware of the irony of saying 'don't do too many drugs'
In a song about a Drug-fueled spiritual awakening of sorts
But probably don't do too many drugs
And in closing I just wanna say
Well done on getting this far in your life
I genuinely wish you the best
Good luck
Ben Jones guitar solo

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