My Life

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Eugene Ruff-Wagner

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I hate my life
Cause it's my life
No one in their ever lovin' mind
Would want my life
It's hard to be
Someone like me
No one with a lick of sense
Would want to be like me

It seems that heaven wasn't listening to me
All I ever wanted was cake and ice cream
Instead I bought a ticket and I won the lottery
Now everyone I know
Wants a little piece of me
Every distant cousin and phony charity
IRS, PBS, non-profit agencies
They all want their taxes and donations and big fees

I hate my life
Cause it's my life
No one in their ever lovin' mind
Would want my life
It's hard to be
Someone like me
No one with a lick of sense
Would want to be like me

It seems that heaven wasn't listening to me
All I ever wanted was a wife to hug and squeeze
Instead I bought a ticket and I won the lottery
Now every girl in town
Wants a little piece of me
Feckless girls, wreckless girls, girls with freckled cheeks
The pimpled and the dimpled and the girl with purple teeth
Girls so fair, jet black hair, and a redhead named Mernice

I hate my life
Cause it's my life
No one in their ever lovin' mind
Would want my life
It's hard to be
Someone like me
No one with a lick of sense
Would want to be like me

It seems that heaven wasn't listening to me
All I ever wanted was a life of luxury
Wait a minute - didn't I - just win - the lottery
Now everywhere I go I'm riding in a limousine
I only eat in restaurants with the finest of cuisine
I drink from golden fountains where the water is pristine
And I'm living in a castle that's the envy of the Queen
I love my life

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