The Row

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So welcome to the row
Where everybody knows
Everything there is to know
We'll watch you as you go
Jake lives at number eight
Can't seem to communicate
He leaves his house all day
Tends to get back late
Chainsaw strapped to his back
Always with a trailer packed
In his garden wood is stacked
Got four sheds packed back to back
Something was out of place
No smoke, his chimney graced
One day I upped the chase
Rang his bell with sloe gin to taste
He took the bait, we conversate
I couldn't look him in the face
Had to state I said hey Jake
You've got no stove or fireplace
Row (welcome to the)
Where everybody knows
Everything there is to know
We'll watch you as you go
Ron gets up before the day begins
Promptly takes out his daily bins
Always tied with sailing string
Smelling fishy scaly fins
So far so what? But, here's the thing
He never goes out never orders in
How do you throw out what you don't bring in?
Ronnie never buys anything
Always makes an infernal din
In his garden, burning things
Mixing chickens and Carnal sins
In his freezer alarming things
Saw him with a knife out carving things
He looked at me with a startled grin
I wonder if God needs to pardon him
I guess I'll leave Ron to his gardening
Row (welcome to the)
Where everybody knows
Everything there is to know
We'll watch you as you go
Sheila seemed to be handicapped
Never knew the story never knew the facts
Her speech was slurred. Her voice was cracked
Her motor skills seemed sorely lacked
Sheila prays on a crucifix
That nothing will go wrong that a gin won't fix
Gets around on walking sticks
But she only needs them after six
Julie has never been the same
Since she moved into the lane
She covered herself in cellophane
And only speaks through the window pane
She likes to bake cake chocolate
And watches us through binoculars
At first glance, it seemed innocuous
But she never stops watching us
Row (welcome to the)
Where everybody knows
Everything there is to know
We'll watch you as you go
So welcome to the row
Where everybody knows
Everything there is to know
We'll watch you as you go

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