Lost Me

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Ason Yugen

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It was maybe 92 or maybe 95
Territorial every neighbor ain't yo neighbor
Ain't the tribe
Conditions and adversity
Attempts to stay alive
Keep it off the radar be discrete
And then we'll thrive
Fresh powder but it don't
Really snow on this side
I tell her pretty words
Every time is the last
But if them niggas down
The street try me then we slide
Panthers sons and daughters
Militant off in the mind
I just want a piece a piece of apple pie
A slice of tire swings where
picket fences stand up high
Am l just a nigga are my leg ups just a lie
Ignore the fact the we don't have the ships
To fund the crime
All my peers got narrow eyes
Prison poses and pipelines
The rich don't get it clean
I even sold my moms a dime
I'm still a boy inside I'm still her boy inside
Today I'm forty nine
Pay phones pager and FaceTime
They share a laugh over how
Much he missed while confined
But she can't feel his presence
Through half-inch or landline
Is it bloodline
All her sisters same noses same trauma different focus
But they know it's hopeless for amends
Fix her lips to say I appreciate your story
Even though we can't begin again
You made cuts deeper than skin
Past the bones and white meat
No pops to cuddle me to sleep
And that's where you lost me

And I've been lookin for love
I'm starting to believe that it was made up
Cause all these empty tears and hollow words
Who let all the smoke In here
Mirrors smolder can't you smell
Little pyres everywhere
And that's where you lost me

Now it's oh six oblivious to who she is
Gucci on the radio, Jeezy gave us hits
Tall tees and snowmen kool aid for the kids
Maybe if I was hard enough then I'd have
Dope boy magic
Wanted locs like Wayne
But singles were what auntie did
Same time I got the braids first time
He called me faggot
Put a stain on my masculinity
A dim on self expression
Lick my wounds wit thc
Entangled with depression
Secrets playing hide and seek
I'm reaching for connection
Extension through a shell we
Pull back another lesson
Present my problems feel so first world
Can't stand to see them struggle
But I'm homeless like them little girls
We link She tell me how much profits
In them beds
Gods turned skeleton in dimensions of a shed
Conditions inhumane
Camp more concentration
But families never forget
These pieces of men

And I've been lookin for love
I'm starting to believe that it was made up
Cause all these empty tears and hollow words
Who let all the smoke In here
Mirrors smolder can't you smell
Little pyres everywhere
And that's where you lost me
But I never lost me

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