Grief (Killers)

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Nick Courmon

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I can't tell my homies how to grieve, but I know retaliation ain't the way
But they don't leave me much to say because I have no room
I just know if they choose to bust back with that .44 or spin the block with the AR or
The Glock, they'll speed up their impending doom
And I can't tell my homies how to grieve, but I know they're grown ass men
With so much machismo, it would do no good for me to go asking them to not respond
But if they get killed, what am I going to tell their moms
I've never been the greatest at addressing feelings, and I know that they're still reeling
But this cycle of violence and pain will only continue if they respond with more killing
And here I am
On the outskirts while they're in the middle just trying to get by
I'd tell them that there's better ways out
But who the f*ck am I
Just a brother who took his ass out the city
I know there's evils out here, so I'm thankful that my savior rolls with me
Since the devil be trying to get me
My brothers got Curtis Jackson-sized dreams to seize Power
Since they may never see 50
Or even the age of 25
But when they tote pistols, it's not just for show
I want them to be able to choose peace
No matter the direction a situation might go
But I fear that with the way that they cling to pride
They may never be alive
To see their children grow
See
We grew up with killers
And didn't know they was killers
But in those days, it was Nerf guns, not Glocks
Hearts were full of warmth
Before they turned into an icebox
Grand Theft Auto wasn't a reality
Just a game on the PlayStation or Xbox
See, we only knew gunplay as a rapper
So we would box to settle our disputes
Never knowing the danger
Or understanding the pent up anger that would follow us as
We progressed through our youth
And the truth is
No one could have anticipated that some of us would embrace violence
Around the time our voices dropped
I know a brother that was a whiz with Rubik's cubes
Now he looks for excuses to spin the block
I know a brother that could have outdone the artistry of Basquiat
Now he uses a concrete canvas to outline his subjects with chalk
And it's wild to think that some of the brothers we used to catch footballs with on the corner
Started catching bodies on a regular basis like the coroner
Some are still infatuated with ball, so they call drive-bys "fade routes"
They're the type to always be on the defense
But never use their safety
Got too used to playing Madden
So they gone run a lick like they caught them a pick six
They keep a .44 on them like Obama
And they call those "hit sticks"
But I still remember the days when we were all pure and innocent
The days when 2K was just a game
And not a requirement for bail
It's crazy to think that the same people that are heaven-sent
Can book your first class
Ticket to hell
And we know people who have left many families bereaved
And a lot of people only become killers
Because that's the only way they know how to grieve

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