Lazy Love

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bell's flowers

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On the cusp of creating a cradle
She demands
"Do you love me?
Then say it"

In the beginning
There was light
Blazing light
So all could be seen
But the fire was fueled
By love
So in the beginning
There was love

Not only love
Warmth
Adoration
Passion
Intimacy
The reason for breathing
Worship with a lower case
W

But you said I was
Needy

A tsunami of poems
Of love letters
Of songs from the soul
Were received with
Fragments of feeling

It's good
And then silence

I told you I love you
Frequently
And you replied
"It loses its meaning
When you say it so much"

My calls for
Prayer
Recitals of the Word
Dancing
Experimenting with Life
Bids for Connection
Of becoming one
Were slowly
Unanswered

As if I
Stood on the shores
Of a distant planet
From yours

And there was nothing but
Space between our souls
That grew larger
Ever larger
Expanding
With every rotating
Encounter

You sometimes spoke
In foreign tongues
Te quiero mucho
Mi guapo
As if you could only
Express your emotions
In someone else's voice

Yet such words
Sounded alien on your mouth
To me
Only a key
Shaped in another language
Could unlock your heart
But I held no key
Shaped in the form
Of that lengua

So I acquiesced
To my sadness
I held back
The fuel of light
To see what would be

It was painful to rein in
The horses of passion
At first
To disconnect
To wait impatiently
To dry up the Word
That once flowed so freely
To end the day in
Silence

Eventually
I became lazy in love
Embracing Alzheimer's
Instead of adoration
As it is easier to breathe
If you can't recall why
You breathe in the first place

I came to
Myself
And yourself
To understand the
Lacuna of love
Between our two
Worlds

And now I see

In your world
This is love

On my world
This is not

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