Owls

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Connxtion

5:46

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I'm presented with another dichotomy
Like who the f*ck I gotta be? I'll ask it again
Being bad, it's just a part of me, the bastard within
I know I'm brash and hella brutal so I bask in the sin
If I'm an asshole again
Well I guess there's nothing to it
I've been fighting what to do with all that shit
Cus this the new me
A change that's coming, its funny
Cus it aint true but the old motherfucker,
He just don't know what to do
See, it's the good and the bad
I know I shouldn't have had
If I could put it like that
To keep on pushing myself
I know I be pushing it back
I only be practicing half the shit
That I put in my raps
You know it's good to be back
I wish they knew that I was
Slow, cracked, and fragile
And hope that they ask if
I'll go back, to assholeness
Show that I've grown to believe in myself
And I just look through the scope, just to see how they felt
I'll get some rest just to hope that they needed some help,
And when I'm stressed I just cope with the weed in my pelt
...guess I'll see for myself
Disregard all what's going on lately
What conclusions you been coming to
And I hope that you don't ever hate
Cus you know what I been going through
The night be making me insane
The price I'm paying for my life,
I might just have To stay in lane,
the tunnel light I'm praising, where we
Quit the drive, I'm stationary
Waiting for the rays of light,
I fantasize I'm speaking clearly
Here, My eyes are weak and weary
I've tried eating, I'm starving my hate mentality
And my pride's weakened, of all the places I'd rather be
My mind's fleeting, eyes in the walls, and they staring back at me
My eyes cry bleeding, I'm falling, I stay in agony
And disregard how I've been wrong lately
What conclusions you been coming to
And I hope that you don't ever hate me
Cus you know what I been going through
And I'm tryna get my mind off my money too,
And with all the confusion, I'd be running too
And we jumping to conclusions
Who the f*ck is going through it
I don't wanna do shit
I don't wanna get into it
If I'm feeling bad, give me peace of mind
If I'm feeling glad, only reason I'm
Feeling good, kinda sad, didn't get it
If I could, wind it back, hope that I'd be getting better
Woah woah woah woah
Can you feel it?
Woah woah woah woah
And I get it
And I hope that you don't ever hate me
Cus you know what I been going
Going
Going...
Chillin, cus its the last year
But I been kickin like always
Only saw her as the cashier
Til she pass me in the hallway
Heard she had hella bodies like...
It was accolades in the back drawer
Didn't care for no reputation cus she
Had the face to look back for
Fast forward to the night I met her
Kick it over to the dance floor
Nice dance we coulda had together
But she's with the girls I'm with the assholes
Turns out she a friend of a friend,
Saw it over by the punch bowl
So the moment afterparty begin
Triple digits on the dashboard
Will she be there? Didn't know
Friends fake, silicone
But I trust em enough for the double take
And I'd hate myself if I didn't go
Get to the house, all of a sudden,
Face white, cus I saw something
She was there in the living room
Had to shake it off, like "Aw its nothing"
Didn't smoke, didn't drink,
All of a sudden, didn't think
All of a sudden, she came over
And she stayed over with a little Pink…
…Whitney, brought more than half of it
Took a shot and some glassfuls
We all drank and we stayed over
She was with the girls I'm with the assholes
I'm pacing up and down my room and my
Minds racing, f*ck I'm gonna do?
And I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm feeling so good (so good)
And we in the same boat, no confusing it
I ain't tryna lose hope, overdoing shit
And we came so close
And I hope that you don't ever hate me
Cus you know what I been going
Going
Going…
I'm not scared, I just need a bit of time
Let me chill on your bed, I'm not in the right mindset
F*ck, I aint even high yet
See, I can't even lie I'm kinda nervous, I don't deserve this
I hid in the bathroom, I'm the asshole, I'm a loser and
I love her yes I love her but I still make up excuses man
The fucks wrong with me?
She cant belong with me
I'm too pussy to even talk, what the f*ck is going on with me?
We had a good night, we had some drinks, stepped by the pharmacy
I got some shit together...
A few days later I picked up some Arizonas when
She came into my dorm room, to be alone again
We skipped our classes just to be together for this moment
She asked me if I thought I was ready, I don't know yet
I always thought this night would be some type of magic,
But we was just some kids, what the f*ck you think was gonna happen?
I'm pacing up and down my room and my
Minds racing, f*ck I'm gonna do?
And I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm feeling so good (so good)
And we in the same boat, don't be sinking it
I aint tryna lose hope, overthinking it
And we came so close
And I hope that you don't ever hate me
Cus you know what I been going
Going
Going through
Going through
Going- Going through

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