bildungsroman

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Sixthdagger

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When I, when I
When I, nuh-nuh-nuh

Uh
Bildungsroman, color in the print head
Story of the danger
Story of the nostalgia and my revelations
Story tells confection of confusion and distraction
Originally my verse was deeper, darker and way sadder
Originally I let my blood let like Akudama twins
Tortured words, nevermind, not how I get to Nirvana
Although it's a therapeutic piece, felt it served its purpose
My guitar crying on the projects why I said I'm tired
Courteous scripts, novel concept, rocky road but not appalling
Pics never describe the blood I put my hands in
But the blood does not describe the joy I found my living trance in
As I grew, I knew my light was found then learned it wasn't, really
As I grew, my light kept getting brighter, jolts of joules flew freely into sparks
Then into more descriptions, then I learned the process, I learned the process
Okay

Took me 19, Should've known by 15
Know I'm somewhere on screen, somewhere on the color wavelengths
Somewhere on the level, don't know what to tell you
Somewhere in the chamber of reflection staring deadly
On the drive, I see the first track made me wanna get it
It hit me twice, I bought the crown on credit, I still wear it
Somewhere on the spectrum, I don't understand it
I need the flowers or my bombs gonna be more than cherry
Uh
I stressed out, way too many times I overthought about
Whether love I gave to people really counted in their eyes
Whether words were really heard and not just passed off as a five
And whether they would really care about me
Sergeant made me think, reconnect with fancies
Abbey showed a different light, praying that Addie don't stress about the cover
I got told my problems, ego size of Texas, bold
But I knew
This is proof that separate paths go on, not always peaceful though
To be at fault, coming back to peace with it
What a story
I've recited it before, no more, glory to the souls
Nine-fold, everyone I've known is up on top
Love myself, but know abstraction is what makes me go forth
It's peace and love
I trust you know
It's peace and love
Writing my memories on the page
Uh

The day trans people don't get put in a cage
And the day I can be whoever I am in my space
The day the box don't define how you can find your Genesis
And the day the green wall don't define my experiences
I'm ready to be confident, and open, and determined
And a color cannot put me in a palette or a painting
I'm blue sometimes, I'm red sometimes, I'm none
Sometimes I'm all, when I can't define which I mixed up
And sometimes I doubt if my choice of medium is the one
Maybe if I drew instead, I'd be successful and not stuck
Maybe if I drew on pen, I'd fit right in with everybody
If my lines were just okay, would they appreciate my story?
If I did the inspiration justice, will they sing about me too
And if I went phantom would you text sayin' you missed me too?
I don't care about the party, I came full circle so my circle is what matters
And if I count my friends on one hand, I'll make it past this
You know that's what they say, always better safe than sorry, I'm free
It's like, my bildungsroman
Freedom, freedom, my bildungsroman
Every memory is written on the paper
Every memory is written on the paper
Even if I doubt my skill, I guess I always kick back eventually
And when I doubt my skill, I feel a flame burning and giving will

Mm, Nana, nana
Dana nana, nana, nana
I feel a flame
I feel a flame burning and giving will
Will

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