Not Your Fault
Bradley Evans
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I never thought they'd come a day that I would write this I mean how the f*ck do you describe it My uncle hung himself and my cousin had to find him The neighbor cut him down whilst my cousin's fucking crying He's screaming Jodie hurry up come to mine quick My dad's hung himself and I don't think he'll survive this She's beating on his chest trying to revive him There's tears in her eyes but she has to hide it Jaeden's blaming himself blaming his girl Blaming his bother blaming his mother blaming the world Jodie rings my mother saying Tracey David's dying My mother rushes up praying he's alive then As she gets there Jaeden's crying in the street Police are tryna stop him but he's blinded by his grief And while leaden scream his brother shows up The shock horror of it all silenced his speech He says I FaceTimed him before And before he knew it he curl up on the floor My mother embrace him as tears began to pour He screams out dad! I could've done more Snasha's hairs wet and the baby's getting cold Jodie's full of sweat tryna save David's his soul My mother steps up and take the babies home And promise them both she change the babies clothes And all the while Kelly yet to find out She's gone to town to enjoy a night out The cousin ben had to go a drive out Coz her phone's switched off f*ck why now And as he pulls up the truth speaks through his eyes I'm sorry Kelly David's has committed suicide She tried to hold her tears as they seeped through her eyes My cousin holds her up and she screams to the sky Coz it's all my fault Coz it's all my fault Coz it's all my fault Coz it's all my fault The paramedics take his body to the hospice They all follow dis-believing that they've lost him Jaeden in denial believing they can stop this All a while Morgan knows they can't stop this They place his body up on ICU Fed him with adrenaline through an IV tube. Tryna get his brain to work but the nurse Has confirmed that the worst outcome is more than likely true Jaeden cries out there's no way that's my dad And don't tell me there ain't no way back from that The pain in his voice echo's through the whole ward Kelly so saddened by the shock of it all She can't speak but the eyes never lie Jodie like a daughter hasn't left her side They're in the waiting room only 3 at a time Can see David's body while the rest wait outside Three go in three go out Saying the same old thing with the same old doubt That's not my dad That's not my man That's not my lad Please dad come back Wake up but David's Hypoxic There's no life in his eyes nothing There no sign he's alive nothing There's no sign he'll survive nothing I was sat at home when I got the phone call I knew when I heard the sound of my mother voice It was bad news and knew that what she'd say Would stick with me for life like a tattoo Son I have some bad news It breaks my heart that I have to tell you That uncle David hung himself And your cousin Jaeden found him hanging in the fucking shed Man I couldn't fathom what I heard I put the phone down and didn't say a word Just starred at the floor I couldn't even cry He told me he would be there at my fucking next fight I collapse on the floor and looked to the ceiling The same way David did before he gave in to his demos Except I'm still alive wishing I was fucking dreaming I was thinking God why on earth am I fucking breathing Coz it's all my fault Coz it's all my fault Coz it's all my fault Coz it's all my fault When I got home my mum was drinking again I could tell she only had a drink to suppress all the things in her head She looked so sad There were tears in my eyes that I had to hold back So I went to bed but didn't sleep much The next day I didn't eat much We arrived at the hospital tryna keep tough But as soon as I saw Jaeden I just welled up I kissed on the head I told him that I love you It broke my heart not knowing what I could do And all I could do why make them chicken wraps With the favorite sauce to try and put em in a good mood And even though David's in a better place I'd never seen true sadness till I saw Kellys face She couldn't even talk Jodie was in a state Please can you help her I don't know what to say She broke down in my arms i consoled her And told her soon this will all be over And she weeped quietly on my shoulder I said to her Jodie you've been a solider And as she cried Morgan stormed out the ward Face full of tears and struggling to talk I found them outside both crying Both trying to at least make sense of it all Morgan held Jaeden tight in his arms Holding back his tear tryna stay calm They looked lost children And swear that I'll take that pain to my grave to the day that my heart stop beating They won't be a day that goes by where I'll not be grieving David how could you leave them And before I could feel any anger it was my turn to see him I walked in and I knew that it was bad Started thinking bout the last chat that we had And the fact that those lads now don't have a dad And Kelly has to live the rest of her life with that There were marks on his neck His eyes both black and scars on his head I guess when you cut someone down and there body hits the ground The impact surely has an effect Oh f*ck I placed my hand on his head Told him I was sorry that I didn't read his texts And didn't read the signs in the words that he said That lead to him dying on this hospital bed David I'm so sorry that your dead This day will haunt me till we meet again April 9th is a day that I'll never forget You was loved by many now so many regret So I sing to you And I hope you find a way through the darkness And I hope you're not alone going through this And I hope you find your mother and your father As they guide you to your home These next lines are a promise to you I promise from now on I'll be honest and true I promise that your sons will carry on without you And both your grandkids will feel like they're nothing to you I promise that I'll tell em bout the man that you was How you'd always dancing like your the happiest one I wish you could told me bout the shit on your mind I'd rather hear you cry than hearing that you've died And Kelly I make a promise to you I'll always be here when the days ain't clear When Davids voice is all you're wanting to hear And offer you a napkin when your flooded with tears I know feel guilty and I know it's a lot I know losing David is a terrible loss Just know I love you Kelly and that is the truth And if I ever make it I did it for you
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"Not Your Fault Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 3 Jun 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/11879224/Bradley+Evans/Not+Your+Fault>.
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