Don’t Let It Go To Your Head (Pride)
Dr. AK Sterling
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Hey, remember the brand new bands Remember that one song, uh, Don't Let It Go To Your Head Yeah, well, I let it go to my head I let it go to my head Unexamined assumptions, childhood trauma, and snap judgments They say time heals all wounds, except the toxic ones still bled I let on to others and opened new ones instead Good thing I got some gauze from a friend I did the trick for a while, as long as my ego got fed Superficial was my style, since the bandage only concealed that which was red Not sure how I managed all this time, ignoring the echoes of both my super ego and id Surprised I didn't bleed out, and wind up dead I was a prisoner of my pride, but a stranger to the underlying issues trapped inside my Head Or my heart, I'm not sure It's as if self-deception was an art I had constructed a narrative that only sought to see things from one side, mine See, when you're stubborn, it's always easy to decide I called it being hyper-competent and decisive So confident I'd have made one of the best tour guides So confrontational, never met an alternative perspective that I wasn't delighted to decry Deconstruct, dismiss, and move aside But why Why was it so hard for me to let's humble myself and let wisdom in There probably wasn't enough room Then again, that's typically when it's time to take inventory or move Decide what to throw away, and what it is you really need to prove Before the answers start to fade But also, to whom Turns out I was afraid I let character defects get in the way Afraid to look back, back at abuse Suffered a lack of honesty, lack of courage, and a Lack of the truth Which then led to emotional stowaways Defense mechanisms, and an aptitude for excuse Shipwrecked somewhere in the shadows of the Atlantic There's an ancient rhythm to my blues Though the tune is still quite tragic, the concrete is still where them roses grew Still mourning ancestors I never met like Solomon's kids after he flew Wait, back to Africa from slavery Life didn't give me lemons, it sold them to me Told me to use food stamps and then denied me aid So don't ask me why I'm sour More than half of my poor decisions stem from being poor and trying to get paid Without going to prison Deep within my DNA, there are already embedded triggers for my cues Socialize to forget it Ignore, endure, and then regret it A kind of learned narcissism The view's empathy is pathetic and normalizes pathology Until it becomes prophetic or predictive How many times can you get hurt before you get vindictive, resentful, and disappointed After expectations prove prescriptive Reality and ideals just seem disjointed While most villains find their origins in once having Been victims And what about the day it all gets unpacked The baggage bound up in some psychoanalytic bubble wrap with no idea who it's from Generational curses get re-gifted since there's no way to give them back The cycle just continues and starts over as soon as it's done like a racetrack It's like the odds are stacked or the game is rigged Not really meant to be won But why specifically did I lose I had choices to choose I wasn't just under attack Went to AA, counseling, and church looking for clarity Clues, and some answers as to What I lacked A kind of experiment, in fact And what I found was fear and ignorance Paving the way for arrogance or inferiority cosplaying As superiority to avoid embarrassment Hate manifested as irritability, which was a cold cancer quietly killing me Had to surrender my will, learn how to love And take responsibility from the start of It I had to resist resentment and look for my part in it, wherever it went Then try and heal the scars from it or buff out the dents But still, I was projecting the pain instilled in me at a very young age I might have made it, but my resilience soon spoiled and turned into rage However it only came in waves, making it harder to detect I was oblivious to the long-term effects of psychological torture and neglect My pride was the cage constructed for my survival A fail-safe mechanism designed to protect And help me feel safe from any foe or any Rival Which I didn't Due to a lack of trust, still bitter from abandonment, my faith in people got crushed Now, I needed to remind myself I was enough and that God is great I'm free, not fixed, and my former mindset was a waste No longer healthy, long overdue to be replaced I'm in a new space, complete, not competitive So unlike COVID results, I'm trying to be more positive than negative This means sorting out the thoughts that bring others down and are less than generative In other words, redirect criticism, mind my business And stop calling them overly sensitive For instance, it doesn't always matter what I like and don't like Unfortunately, I don't always know when to let go and when to fight When I should speak Up and when to stay silent I like to be cool, but my impulse is more defiant I tell you, I'd argue all day if I had my druthers But I should still try it The Bible tells me to love my neighbor just like they my brothers But instead I'd be overly opinionated and preoccupied with pointing out the flaws in Others Offering unsolicited correction like I'm top flight security to the world or better yet Giving out pearls But I ain't no better than anybody else No matter what my pride got me saying to myself It's but by God's grace I ain't broken on A shelf, leaning on a ledge, or hanging off a cliff screaming for help Cause pride comes before a fall But humility is that perfect parachute that fits us all Yeah, fits us all
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"Don’t Let It Go To Your Head (Pride) Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/11913116/Dr.+AK+Sterling/Don%E2%80%99t+Let+It+Go+To+Your+Head+%28Pride%29>.
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