The Day I'm Voted President

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I Mwalabu

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I know the campaign will have been pretty intense
Parties joining forces; several secretaries brought together so that adding up, their manifestos could make some sense
My two party alliance might have looked smaller than everyone's, making you think I'm short of horse sense
But trust me, my running mate has never had a match; don't be fooled and start judging books by their cover
Igniting an irresistible romantic atmosphere, Poetry has authored success stories of many a sincere lover

I just don't know whether or not I'll be the country's first devoted Christian Chef d'État
Ain't so sure whether I'll be her sixth guy, seeing I really took my time, knowing great haste always makes great waste
Her Highness, Professor Singleness, badly desired a third term; that's an open secret
The laws being adjusted; her relatives in the village, convinced Singlehood would win, had vowed she would forever be a lone lady
African magic gets more real than is projected in your living room; she could only get a guy over their dead body

If her ex won, she knew part of her population wouldn't complain
Another part would have been over the moon if Professor Singlehood won again
The rest needed someone new, the previous ones had injured them so bad that they were racked with pain
However, I wasn't the only aspirant; my conscious therefore asked me to think again
Yet knowing faint heart never won fair lady, I still proceeded with the campaign

And so walking out in her Nike shoes, she only returned home after checking my box
Though she never saw me in a Nike outfit, she was convinced I ticked all the right boxes
My fellow aspirants might have had their own grievances
But these Commissioners were unlike those who had deceived by their appearances
Hence, my landslide victory could only mean one thing: disaster for the other alliances

The celebrations will be more than Christmas' and New Year's Eve combined
Fireworks being more than the reds had at Anfield as the long awaited trophy was lifted
The journey will have been so demanding with arrival something we simply anticipated
We'll have a million reasons to praise the Almighty, my single days being a goner
Being called the President of her Republic will be without a doubt more than an honour

But the day I'm voted president, the day Professor Singlehood is finally gone
Darkness will have surely surrendered, taken captive by daylight at the crack of dawn
Reality will have dawned on me; from the school of hard knocks, fantasy withdrawn
My troubling thoughts being the first chaos worse than the coronavirus, to be handled
I fear for my dear reputation; my renommée will surely be on the line, prone to being manhandled

I know my manifesto will have been indisputably better than that of my fellow aspirants
I guess that's one of the reasons Adorable will have accepted my offer at their expense
But what if it turns out their promises were more realistic than my pretense?
I mean, before us will have been a desperate young lady, a nation so hungry for a new government
Only time knows whether I'll have meant what I said or simply took advantage of her desperate predicament

Gone are the days parents smiled knowing their daughter was about to become a Minister's spouse
Gone are the times accepting a Christian guy ensured her house was filled to capacity, living no room for divorce
I guess times have indeed changed; the revealing generation has disclosed the dark side of the Christian man
It's really sad to realise that Professor Singlehood proves to have been better than many a born again
It even gets worse when she finds out she was better off being with the guy who could hardly define the word "amen"

The day I'm voted president, even if I sleep, I doubt my mind will let me rest all evening
I say the day I is voted president; even with just a handful of subscribers, the whole world will have surely started watching
The day I'm voted president; I doubt I'll have peace even if no one will be on the streets demonstrating
I say the day I is voted president; who knows, he might just prove his haters right and conclude they weren't simply hating?
I'll have surely won her heart but will the defending Champion keep all his promises, keeping her from regretting?

I know she will have spent a lot of time on her knees with her girlfriends
I agree everyone was convinced it was time for her to experience something different
Singlehood and all the previous governments had been pretty corrupt
Stealing her happiness, they had surely robbed her smile so pretty
It will be really surprising if joy and peace of mind will still be part of her reality

But what if this new government turns out to be everything but a blessing?
What if President I spends his entire first term convincing her Singlehood deserves all the blaming?
What if it turns out that this new government simply knows how to point out other guys' mistakes?
I mean what if I spends the rest of your days telling you all he hates about your singleness?
What if he works hard to make your life no better than it had been before you voted him president?

The day I'm voted president, will it be the beginning of her life's brand new season?
The day I is voted president, will she have a genuine reason to prove her parents accepting him was the right decision?
The day I'm voted president, will her eyes see a reflection of what she had been praying for?
The day I is voted president, will her girlfriends agree this guy is a perfect match of the prince she had been waiting for?
The past being behind and the future ahead, will I be able to live up to my reputation?

The day I'm sworn in, vows exchanged; when I say "so help me God," I mean every bit of it

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