Courage To Speak

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These last five years been a livin' hell for me
Feelin' restless, I can tell I'm weak
Somebody told me I could never live too selflessly
They were wrong
My flesh is more Michael Myers, I haven't killed it for good
Motifyin', my deeds more like daffodils to your pearls
More to life than what's seen from the outside, mine's disturbin'
But no more hidin' my feelings, I gotta build up the courage
Open heart surgery, God, I plead that You get my glory
Ode to my Teacher, I gotta speak on my testimony
Part of movin' on is the process of letting go (Yeah)
Let me tell it, yo, tell it- (Yo)
Single parent, sinkin' ship, three jobs to pay the rent
Father was on hard drugs, unloyal, came and went
Weight of the world on mama's shoulders left her faint of breath
And her son is mid-functionin', hopin' that he won't cave from stress (No)
He fell in love with music since a youngin, was
'Nough to keep him distracted from the struggles of comin' up
Contemporary Christian and worship played all the time, but then
Auntie started to play normal radio, changed his life forever
Ten years later, and he still ain't got his life together (Mm)
Searchin' for validation in the wildest places
Took advantage of his kindness, blackmailed him over things
He ain't consent to and didn't wanna engage in
He took the blame when his mama found out, and then some (I'on' blame her)
You could feel his heart beatin' through his chest, 'cause
She made him go this to church so he could save his soul, it got uncomfortable
'Cause nine months later, they all found out that it was a cult (Nobody knew)
Earlier that year, he met his best friend
And they bonded over music after the passin' of X, and
Post grad party, he went on a road trip 'fore his full ride
And got into an accident that took away his whole life
Only found out when I was miles away from home, like
That ain't a metaphor, I was shattered when my bro died
The start of things I lost, that kid was me, I confess
Jesus got me out that cycle, I really believe I'm blessed
R.I.P. Jacob

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