april 26

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Barry Mangosteen

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Last night you were in
This continual dream
In between I was waking up
To the sound of rain on tin

I'd smile in the darkness
The tanks are filling up at least
Then I'd roll under my covers
And drift back to where I was

Waiting alone
In that magical sprawl
Of cafes pubs and restaurants and bars
We were gonna see them all

I was watching for your car
Through a smoky plexiglass wall
Outside a street lamp caught the rain
It arced and also caught itself a ball, then

Your taxi pulls up
In this 80s movie scene
You're waving walking up to me
My senses disappear
With my rehearsed apologies
And you say hello

But I don't know how to talk to you
Not even in my dreams
I get silly I get boastful
I get rambling and loquacious
I forget that you're not here
For my big words and conceit
You're here for my company
That thing I keep fucking up
And you've caught on
To the best way to talk to me

Rarely
Barely
Blamelessly
So efficaciously
See there I go again
Then you're gone again

The sun is finally up
The rain has all but stopped
The house is freezing, fucken cold
The bottom tank is too full to be ignored any longer
I chuck my slippers on
Shuffle across the tundra
And when i return to the lounge
I kneel before the fire
Last night's coals are huddled there
Naked, crackling for cover
I shiver
And I hesitate to throw a single thing on them

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