Find My Smile (feat. Locke Randall)

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HODDESTN

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Yo, Dest'n?
Remember where we grew up?
Was always at your granny house, we would be living it up
Was tryna to get that cash by cutting grass, wasn't getting enough

We always wanted that dirt bike, we thought it was so tough
Look, remember it was outside playing ball on the street?
Now some of them niggas is long gone, straight seven feet deep
It's crazy cause some of them niggas would've been crazy athletes

Would've been laid up in the hills instead of on the concrete
Look, who would we be if we ain't move out the hood?
Would we be able to be like a black man should?
We would be killed by the cops or getting shot by our blood?

I guess we made it through the rain for getting stuck in the mud
Look, if we ain't leave, we would've never met the crew
But if we had stayed, would we be in heaven with Drew?
Would we have stayed out one night and made that 9 o'clock news

Saying two black teens, had died way too soon it's Locke
Bro, I just wanna get rich, making the money like Mitch
And now my head stay high cause I know my granny is proud of J.I.T
Honor roll, it took 12 years, but I'm still proud of a J.I.T

I wasn't dumb, it just was thoughts was always crowding a J.I.T
I wasn't worried about As and Bs
Even though all them said I could, I was tryna K.O.D
Demons named Sam Smith, the way that energy could stay with me

I just wanted closure, miss when granny used to lay with me
Her hugs while I was venting was the biggest thing that stayed with me
Arms would wrap around me like a blanket when it's cold to sleep and no-one was as cold as me

Certain time in life, I didn't know how it would go for me
I call my brain the artery, the way it's making flows for me
I'm pumped up, love?
I'm tryna figure what's love to me

I done seen some toxic love, but I done seen some lovely things
I seen weddings in Bahamas, I seen fighting in between
Ain't love the worse, or live the best, I'm living somewhere in between
I got opportunities most of my friends will never see

But I done lived a thousand lives, I guess it's for my destiny
I seen people die in front of me, trash cans no longer green
That dirty gun had a green dot, and wiped them off, no Mr.Clean
Man, I wish that my friends could see the things I'm gonna

Used to be a loner, now I'm known by girls as well as mothers
Do it for my brothers, I got pain all on this album cover
Might just make another, let it flow like butter
Let it go like Anna, catch the wave just like you Queen Adonna

Come through playing games like Bryson Tiller, you'll be walking Summer
Feel like KD trapped me under nets, but I fought back with thunder
When it hit me hard, looked up to him like it's a uppercutter
Rest in peace my brothers, I got trauma from when I was younger

I seen crying mothers, black hands turned to a darker color
Car crash, had them spin like Ninja Turtles, this ain't Cowabunga
Drive around them streets and all you smell is gas and burning rubbers
Reconstruct yourself in all those cuffs, you see who's undercover

I remember days, I'm freezing cold even when under covers
Who ain't been through something? If I said it happened, I ain't bluffing
If I make you see it, you just seen the memories I come with
Forget your assumption, we had empty bottles with no function

Burning through the chest and I'd get smacked if I bought Robitussin
Places don't know where to run in where to trust in
Do I put enough in this girl heart that I'm supposed to love in
Do I get the cuffing? Demons get the scuffing

Mask down with the stick straight to the death, I feel like Henrik Sutton
NHL entendre I got drama but I'm still loving
Ramen was my breakfast, lunch, and dinner and it's still bussing
Now I'm living lavish, leave the door open, I'm still coming

Bro I just wanna get rich, making the money like Mitch
And now my head stay high cause I know my granny is proud of a J.I.T, I love you
Honor roll it took 12 years but I'm still proud of a J.I.T
I wasn't dumb it just was thoughts was always crowding a J.I.T

I wasn't worried about A's and B's
Even though all them said I could, I was trying to K.O.D
Demons named Sam Smith, the way that energy could stay with me
I just wanted closure, miss when granny used to lay with me

Her hugs while I was venting was the biggest thing that stayed with me

How y'all doing? My name's Dest'n
Applause
H.O.D
Yea Dest'n
What was challenging
Um You know,  just working with a whole lot of other people

Making sure that they put the same effort that I have, that I put up and uh yea
Thank you

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