The Catfish
Mash Louis
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Yesterday, I had a bad thing happen to me I had a date, it turned out to be a catfish, oowee I gotta say, I've never been the type to be mean And I'm not tryna be mean I'm just tryna describe it accurately Yeah, uh, girl wit a cute face single on tinder I could see myself mingling with her Nice restaurant, I ain't cheap when it's dinner I arrive first, then I see her from a distance Way heavier than she was in pictures Real life showed things I couldn't see with a filter Goddamn, gotta do it though She walks up, I give her a hug She smelled about as fresh as my rug Shirt hella big but it fit her so snug Trying not to look disappointed as I was She wore flip flops, all toe nails were ear wax yellow I'm thinking hell no And they were too long as well bro Where have they been I might never know Wow, ooh And her smile looked like Somebody walked on the coast of the Gulf of Mexico Collecting seashell fragments And they threw em in a toothless woman's mouth I could smell her breath from across the table First thing she told me was she was unstable I laughed, and said you shouldn't put a label On yourself she said I didn't a doctor did I'm like okay Well, uh, how was your day She said it was great What'd you do? I just laid around, how about you I'm thinking you just laid around I wrote some tracks started laying em down I should just leave I ain't staying around Disguising myself like I'm just another face in the crowd Brainstorming, how do I dip Before we order something, before we get a check Go home and act like we ain't never met Had an idea so I stopped and I said Imma go to the bathroom real quick She said okay, just don't fall in I walked to the door of the bathroom for men Passed it and went to the exit and left Ran to my car for some reason my heart Was racing a million miles a minute Almost like someone was chasing me in it I put it in reverse, wheels spinning Then I saw something in my rear view mirror Had to readjust it, couldn't see it clear Last thing I wanted, I saw my worst fear It was the catfish, livid in tears She troddled in front of my car and said what are you doing I'm sorry but will you please move it We shouldn't force it that s**t would be stupid Little did I know that would cause her to lose it She walks to my window I had it rolled down Securely I'm seated in my car right now Stronger than she looks she pulls me out I can't do nothing, she throws me down Car still running while she in full mount She's too damn heavy can't get off the ground She gets my back and she chokes me out I wake up, and I see my car rolling out Of the parking lot Did I deserve it I know it's not nice, but I knew I had to split She could've been real instead of deceiving So why should I feel bad at all about leaving Yesterday, I had a bad thing happen to me I had a date, I turned out to get my ass kicked, oowee I gotta say, I've never been the type to be mean And I wasn't tryna be mean, I was just tryna get out of there peacefully Instead she wanted a piece of me And she got the whole when she beat my ass Stole my car and stole my keys I was too embarrassed to call the police Got a new car yeah man she can have that Past is the past yeah, I don't wanna backtrack I don't wanna think about the fact that She had more, stretch marks than a old man Who's been on steroids his whole life But I shouldn't say that, that's impolite But what she did to me just ain't right But women gon lie, and I guess that's life It was dishonest and it wasn't modest It turned out a blessing cuz I learned a lesson Now I know I need to FaceTime before going on a date Every time, that's no exception, damn
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"The Catfish Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Jun 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/12334485/Mash+Louis/The+Catfish>.
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