Ballad Of Reflection

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Kalipalmz

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Hey, uh, When you get the chance to please call me back
Thank you, Godspeed
Yeah, 12 years old, me and pops eating TV dinners
Mom's was gone, she ain't wanna stay with us either
I was fine doing week by week with each parent
Distanced myself, destroyed memories to cherish
Started hanging with the bad kids
Skipping class, smoking from my dad's old
Cigarette packs, destroying my lungs, taking some drugs
Couldn't tell dad where I got all this hate from
Uh, but I wanna make up for those days that I broke hearts
Especially my mama, I took that shit way too far
Still had every right to be upset
You did some bad things, ain't apologized yet
Time to forgive and forget
Wish it was that easy, but neither of us will admit to the crimes we commit
All the fucking secrets we kept, all the things we left unchecked
A problem wherever we went
Wouldn't leave my room, cause if I did, I knew what it meant
Anyway, by 10th grade, I'd gotten worse
In class, high and drunk, going in, need sunglasses first
Some days so fucked, wish I was just back here on earth
Some days so fucked, I was looking for some church
Wasn't gonna change my ways, disrespectful f*ck
In trouble most days, I was texting up the plug
Feeling so much shame for keeping all that weight on my chest
It's insane I made it with some brains left in my head
Dumb decisions, at least I went on the right path
Well, at least I think I have this in my life plan
Couple people I've met left me blessed
Without their help, I wouldn't be who I am
Anyway, a couple months ago, I thought I was gonna lose my life
Made me appreciate a lot more of my time, but it left me scared to die
Heard my dad say I love you, I fucking began to cry
Hung up the phone, started reflecting on all of my moments
From me and my dad eating on the couch, to me and Ryker at Jared's house toking
To filming El Gigante, to making four songs a day in COVID
To dead parade balloons one, to unspoken
To every day I woke up feeling chosen
To every time I've been anxious, standing in the snow, frozen cold to the touch
To Maddie and Keily taking me home, they coming in clutch
To me and Scarlett at prom, and me and the boys in the car listening to my songs
To graduation day, to Randall's class telling her everything I've ever done wrong
And just like that, the flash ended back in the present
Stuck in my panic, repenting, hoping for some leverage
Wishing it would stop every second
Then snap out of it, just like that
A moment of clarity
Pardon me my dear brothers, my head got the better of me
Thank you all for sharing life and being a part of mine
This dedicated to you and this dedicated to Father Time
Thank you all for sharing life and being a part of mine
This dedicated to you and dedicated to Father Time

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