Sex in Suburbia

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Lily Rose Barron

4:12

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A loaded silent drive to an empty parking lot
I really starved myself for this
He said he wants to try me on just for the night
And that I am the first girl that he kissed

Hot breath, sweat, steam
His saliva leaks in puddles on my chest
Space, drift, think, dream
I'm a prisoner to my own head
And then I give him head

I am just a toy to him
an antidepressant, a distraction
But he is just my practice dummy
So why does it hurt so bad
Why do I feel used
When I used him

A silent quick redressing, an inside-out t-shirt
All the dumb teen movie tropes
We're both just out of high school, barely even legal
But we fucked like sad, lonely, starving adults

Sex and suburbia
The silent untold yearning for love
Sex and suburbia
Queer kids have to grow up so young

Firsts with strange men
My heart aches for those who couldn't consent
Kids and frightened
If only their straight peers could even comprehend

The guilt, the fear, the shame
The secrets that can never be named
A peers unrequited love, and then a daddy Grindr hookup

Sex in suburbia
Some pedophilic fucked up love
Sex and suburbia
Love mixed with shame can only lead to pain
And society is to blame

If we didn't teach all our queer little babies that they don't deserve love companions or family
If we didn't demonize godly desire, shove kids in a closet compounding a liar
When you have been absent, yeah barely a father
Don't act surprised when your teen's getting pounded
On yellowy mattresses, moths eat away
In a dim cheap motel ten minutes down the freeway
By some strange repressed man who lives with the same shame
People can hate him, but he's losing the same game
Isn't it funny, a moment of trauma
Queer people feel more love than they ever did from their momma
Momma

Sex in suburbia
The silent untold yearning for love
Sins of suburbia
Queer kids have to grow up so young

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