Who Am I

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Michael "Chief" Peterson

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Who is chief?
My birth name is Michael
It means he who is like God
So there's a hint of heaven in every word I write
We shall all be blessed tonight Amen?
But who am I?
With one brother in corrections and the other in a casket I am my mama's only child
I am the only child my father didn't raise
Pen pencil and a page have been more of a parent than papa but let the stone roll where it may
Real life irony my father's last name is Rolle
But who am I?
I'm a masterpiece in the making
I'm a poet so I can make things up like I'm extrovertedly introverted
which means I can be the life of the party or just not go to it
I am an alcoholic who's never been drunk a day in his life
I get punched drunk off punch lines so hit me with your best
verse and not shot because black men don't come back from those
I am an unprepared eulogy at my brother's funeral
I am still living with that regret
I am last month's rent with next week's check
I am Ricky and Bobby first and last
I am the haves and have nots
I am made it home safe from the traffic stop but still hashtag waiting to happen
I am can't kneel or stand for my rights
I am hands up and polite and still knee on neck or bullet in back
I am both miracle and menace
You say it's a life sentence in this skin?
I say it's a win
My melanin be sliced bread and pants with pockets
The best thing since been since been
My mama named me Michael Jermaine
You only know me as my AKA
And this is the part where I hit you with a gun bar but with one brother gunned and the other one
barred I've learned to stay away from them both
I am the truth in a world full of lies
I am Big Mama's eyes and Granddaddy's nose
I am the generational curse and gift
I am a combination of lift every voice and sing
And in the words of Crime Mob as quoted by Urban Negro Philosopher Charlemagne the God
I am always ready to knuck if they buck
I am LL's I need love and mama said knock you out
I am Martin's dream and Malcolm's by any means
I am part lover part wish a nigga would
I am paradox and oxymoron
You know kind of like the hate y'all give LeBron but love y'all give R Kelly
I am what comes from the belly of the beast
I am the beast and the beauty within him
I am as good as it gets but not good enough
I am confidence cloaked in insecurity but I'm alive to tell my story
My head high my smile full and my mama still proud of me
I am winning I am the win within the loss
I am the beginning and the end still writing the chapters in the middle
I am the shoe on the wrong foot but step in the right direction
I am the broken mirror for little black boys to see their reflection
I am the dream they see from the windowsill in the project
I am the project projected not to make it
I am the one in the family who made it yet still trying to make it
First to graduate college but last to have a family
Hella macho and manly but I cry damn near daily
I am the hell yeah let's get it and the um I don't know maybe
This is who I am and I'm still learning
I'm still learning to love me
I am still
I am learning
I am love
I am me

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