House of Cards

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Hunter Poetry

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I never knew which version of you I'd wake up with[00:03.40]So I became a morning person to try and placate you from the offset[00:08.26]Hand trembling as I stirred your first cup of tea, a milky plea for you to go easy on me[00:15.95]Spoon rattling against the china of the mugs we chose together when your mask was still up and I thought we were forever[00:23.80]My safe place now one of danger, a house of cards harbouring a stranger[00:30.45]Predictable in your unpredictability volatility the new, normal, accepting morsels[00:36.92]On the outside it was smoke and mirrors, but inside it was smashed mirrors and torn pictures when it didn't go your way[00:44.20]I was drowning whilst trying to save you like Jack did for Rose, a third class passenger on a sinking ship of you[00:53.37]Where you flirted with hurting yourself on more than one occasion, in desperation if ever[00:59.32]I tried leaving[01:00.65]A maven of manipulation, triangulation tactics, gaslit[01:05.47]It was never your fault, I doubted my reality, questioned my sanity as you projected your insecurities onto me[01:13.12]Told me I was crazy, forced me into therapy but forbade me from ever talking about you[01:19.34]It was always on your terms, punishment and reward, withholding affection[01:23.77]No accountability, deflection[01:26.34]Voicing my feelings only ever led to disagreements and then an argument that would leave me[01:30.64]recoiling from[01:32.17]The velocity of your violence[01:34.56]I stayed because I thought I could change you[01:37.19]That one day I'd go back to stirring your tea without shaking mind trapped because I loved you so comforted by all you afflicted[01:45.36]So much so like Stockholm syndrome that when you cheated I still cried thinking that[01:50.84]You'd abandoned me for a new victim

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