GRIEF'S DISEASE

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Sublime Pr1me

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There was so much grief running through me
Every instance my consciousness withdrew me
Nothing to define the feeling
Is it a feeling?

Ain't no words to describe it
Ain't gonna hide it
I know you felt it too
Coated up and hiding
Faded right beside it
Deep devoured lying
Judgin' spirituality
Fighting my decency
Even with duality
With love and hate in reality
I can't even, I can't describe it
It's so conniving, an African Black
Separated by packs
Always went to class
Except times I was laying in bed, physically set back
And I still felt bad
Sitting with synonyms of shame and guilt, off the racks
I think of my friends that I grew up wit'
That is locked in chains and granite undertones
And sometimes I question if they'd be straight
If I stayed back home?

Grief is like a disease
It come and leaves it please
Deep invested
Sure making it harder to breathe
It make you untrusting
So much disgusting
All of your anger, said see you later
Dark guilt, fear, shame and anxieties
Praying on mere mortals

Mortals going through portals, oddly abnormal
Make you wonder if all of this is really happening
I'm in denial, feel so entitled
Like they ain't try to take my life
Exasperated and irritation building
Why'd it happen to you?
I'd rather them take me!
Sick and saddened by the fact that you're gone
There's a lot weighing on my shoulders
It's hard to keep swimming when the lights are dimming
I hold my light nice and tight
But it still gets dark at some of the times
When I think of our last memories together in 2020
Don't know the remedies, I hate it like enemies
My second mama died, and some of my light too
We hadn't talked in so long
I'm distraught, a lot of could've, would've
Grieving about the future, my pockets scrapped
My grief is anticipatory

Grief is like a disease
It come and leave it please
Deep invested
Sure making it harder to breathe
It make you untrusting
So much disgusting
All of your anger, said see you later
Dark guilt, fear, shame and anxiety
Praying on mere mortals

So anticipatory, not participatory
Shot with clots
My stomach in knots, tired of rocks
Anchoring to my spot
Recklessly driving, hoping no one's dying
Is my family proud of me?
The crowd's hyping me, but I know they don't ride with me
Still got love though!
But I gotta diminish to keep my due discipline
Loyalty's hard to find, cause we all so insidious
Treat it like royalty, don't let it spoil please
Or you'll fill will regret and stress, with all the threats on your soul
Keep up with your goals, before you put yourself in a hole
Or are you already in it?
Don't tell me you had to think about it

Grief is like a disease
It come and leaves it please
It's deep invested
Sure making it harder to breathe
It make you untrusting
So much disgusting
All of your anger, said see you later
Dark guilt, fear, shame and anxieties
Praying on mere mortals

Griefing is giving a f**k

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